Model..? Please. posted by

Tell me you don't have a female friend in your Facebook who keeps an album titled "Modelling" or "Portfolio" It's imposseberu. Everyone my age or younger has at least one female friend like that.

And most of the time, not all, most of the time, when you click it open to see, it's either so funny you laugh or have all your hair stand cox it's so.. So.. I don't know! It's just gross!!!

I put it on a few things.

1) The lighting
Sometimes to prevent anything from looking too sleazy and cheap, good lighting can get the job done. Strangely, the brighter and more even the lighting is for their "model shots", the more sleazy and amateurish it looks like. And the darker the lighting is, the more artistic it looks, i feel.

2) The photographer
I feel if they are keen in photography and is an amateur, they can shoot leaves, shoot sky, shoot architectures, shoot street art, shoot food, shoot their own friends, shoot their babies. Sounds like a good and affordable way to practice to me ^.^ Don't pay money to shoot xmm, can or not?

3) The outfit
I've had my fair share of being photographed when i was 16/ 17. Earn some pocket money to get by.

Blogged these pictures before lol.
Same lah, unedited except making the colour as they are on prints.
Some pictures of i did when i was 16. These pictures are from where i go conned (sorta), i blogged about it HERE. Read it if you're thinking of being a model becox the talent scounts at Orchard Road told you you can be. Lolol. Read it if you want to know more about paying for portfolio.

And one thing i've come to realise is.. Certain outfit you can only do specific expressions with it!!! Once, i was dressed in a casual and happy outfit, and this photographer KEEP INSISTING i do the edgy, high-fashion, angry and bu-shuang facial expression. Wtf is wrong with him i have no idea. On another note, some outfits are just f-up. There's no way to werk it to make it look less cheap. The only way to work with it is to make it look MORE cheap, with boobs and flesh. Sigh.

4) The model
It's the face. And the expression. And the poses. This one i cannot describe more. It's just.. Not everyone can be a model but yes, i agree everyone can be vain. Haha. So if you take photoshoot as an obsession to remember your youth and beauty, then okay lah, take it easy.

What i cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot stand, is..

GIRLS WHO CALL THEMSELVES MODELS when they have the lousiest of all the four elements listed above that'd make a good picture working for them. And the thing is, they are everywhere!!!

These girls! They're everywhere!!! They call themselves models. But all their pictures either have bad lightings, bad outfits, obviously taken in a bad angle thanks to a bad photographer, and overall, they themselves didn't make anything better as a model. So.. Did you really call yourself a MODEL?!?!

If you really aspire to be a model, and you think you can, and you're willing to work hard and improve, then nothing in this post should affect you okay =) In fact, jiayou! I'm talking about the really talentless and yet think the world of themselves and label themselves as "MODEL" ones. Lolol.

Their poses forever super trynabe the top model poses. And it's just soooo funny when they do it!!!!! Especially when they think they damn chio!!! Omg. I know i sound really childish to be mocking at them but don't worry, they are not affected one, they will just say i'm jealous. Lolol.

Okay lah, don't say them already.

Say their poses.

I LOVE how they raise up their hands and sometimes look like they are smelling their armpits.

I LOVE how they diao (stare fiercely at) the camera in every picture. Like how chao ah lian will.

I LOVE how they always arch their backs to do add high-fashion value.

I LOVE how they always peep from a corner of the wall lol.

I LOVE how they always like to do crawling/ walking towards-you motion. 很有动力 hahaha.

So i try to mimick them mimicking top models!!! BUT, somehow i look okay =(

Only some of the pictures turn out as trashy as i'd like it to =( #humblebrag

Alright, PICTURES time.

Baby models xmms, please watch and learn how to werk it. Becox those uncles with DSLRs will highly likely request these poses. I've compiled the top favourite poses for you.

On the Bed/ Sofa/ Couch/ Chair/ Toilet seat
Lie down and look sensual. Usually they will do this in a hotel room de bed with you. No biggie right? Since you already agree to go shoot in a hotel room with a few guys =)

ROAR. One of the more popular poses. On-four. Start training your back and waist strength now. This pose is gonna keep them going for a long time.

The "Open but close your legs" pose. 坐不要坐好好. I do not understand. But just learn it anyway.

Oh, MY wall. Mine.
Ooh. My favourite. Lean back, raise your arm and touch the wall sensually. Make love to it. I added my own touch at the shoulder. Lol. Hope it works out good! If you don't find this appealing enough, i'd suggest you put both hands on the wall, and sing Spider man~ Spider man~

"I see you..... No i have no idea what i'm doing with the corner of the wall"

"Oh wall! You sho cute and sexy!"

One more of the favourite is arch, back-facing and lean on the wall and touch your knee.

They also love it when you do a "chicken wing" with your elbows out with hands on the waist, while same time, arching your back and leaning against the wall. What do you mean it looks like i am having a stomache and needs the toilet?!

They will request for you to to back-face, face-face, side-face, handstand against even, on the wall.

So long as there's a wall, these uncles with DSLRs will love to explore the possibilities of getting you and himself a good picture for both your portfolios =)

"No, really. Where is the toilet. I buay tahan liao" Lololol.

Studio (Glamor)/ Outdoor shoot
This is where you really have to work with nothing/ with surrounding respectively. Most of it you have to play with your hands and your body. So good luck. Have fun. Here are some of the poses.

This pose cannot get more awkward than it looks. But everyone loves it. So werk it. Give them the "FORWARD" feel. Yes, make them anticipate the impending moment. What i'm talking about? I don't know ^.^ It only reminds me of how Kim Ah Joong posed in the recording studio to werk it.

Get ready some yokoyoko. Anything arched like this... Or
Like this, would be considered high fashion and confident! =D So, BEND.
This is my favourite! The "Smell Armpit" pose =D

Although it doesn't look like it, but what i'm trying to say is..

Don't go get photographed by a few uncles in a hotel room. I know they probably won't dare do anything to you. But WHAT IF, they do? What if before you enter the hotel room, they already put a pinhole camera in the toilet where you're supposed to change? So many whatifs if you think about it.

If you want your portfolio done up proper then look for decent photographers. Or go to a reputable agency who can assign a okay photographer to shoot you. Good luck on that!

Also, don't call yourself a model if your pictures are ... I don't know. You'd know when you grow older. Lolol. Like how i look at my own pictures back then. I really is maozhan (hair stand).

And only do what you're comfortable with. Whatever you're not, learn how to say NO.

When i see news of girls talking about how certain lewd photographer told them to take off their bikinis/ shave their pubic hair/ go topless when it's supposed to be just a lingerie shoot, i do think these girls are to be responsible too. Why can't they speak up for themselves or walk away?

Of course the lewd photographers are better off dead. But if we can't get rid of them, i think the least we can do is to stop ourselves from becoming their victims. Right or not?

Okay i wish you good luck. And all the above poses are totally werkable. It's just a matter of who's doing it. Lol. I don't foresee any problems with Caucasians/ Eurasians/ really oriental-looking models doing it. But if you're just werking a pretty face, maybe you can werk confidence and your smile and not werk top model edgy poses/ expressions. Lolol. Good luck!

Here's an accidental snapshot of me sneezing halfway through posing. LOL. No edit. Lol.

60 comments:

Olga Podobed said...

lol! that was funny! need more posts like this!
but you know your photos looks quite descent! not trashy enough!

Anonymous said...

Do you edit your photos on photoshop? Sorry if a dumb question coz im not a regular reader lol XD but you yourself look like a model from FTV!! Gorjas :)

~Pinkie~ said...

haha.. the last one is funny.. but u kinda look like u are crying if u din state tat u are sneezing.. :) but overall its NICE~ u got change a bit from b4.. but still very chio one~ <3~! ^_^

tartarsauce said...

I looked at the last picture and I thought you were crying LOL

나니 said...

HAHAHAH you're fucking hilarious! I LOVE this post! The difference from these girls and your poses is only that you actually look like a model.. I have way too many female friends on FB who have this "modeling" album and they look ridiculous as shit in each and every picture. One of my old class mates skipped high school to become a model - needless to say the only "job" she got was as the nude-girl on page 9. LOL

Shi LinG said...

hahah! a super useful and adorable post! xoxo

Kuan Yin Yee said...

I thought you accidentally bang your head on the wall HAHAHAHA!!! :DDD

Tahti said...

Ahh this was so fun to read! I love your commentary, you are hilarious lolol. You still look so chio too! ❤ (^.^)

GenevieveWijaya said...

I love the last picture most.

Simple Person said...

wow that is a very strong sneeze..

Anonymous said...

LOL you are so hilarious!!! And yet you can still sound so kind to these type of girls who obviously need to wake up their fuckin ideas. Seriously agree with you that more and more xmm doing these kind of no-smiles-just-stare-and-hunch photos and getting many Likes and "wow so sexy!" comments, and i'm like "you fuckin blind?!"

Anonymous said...

Actually the poses don't look stupid when you're the one doing it (in fact you look damn awesome lah), so this post might spur those model-wannabes on and lead them into thinking they could be like you too, which isn't very possible lololol. Good luck to these girls! And you please go and be a model. Hahaha

Anonymous said...

you are super duper funnyyyyyyyy!!!!
and the last oneeeee
cuteeeeeeeeeee

Anonymous said...

HAHAAHAH THE SNEEZE I NEARLY DIE HAHAHAHAHA
You're so humorous :D hahah love your blog. X)

Anonymous said...

ROFL i nearly died laughing cos of the last picture omg you are so sporting to even post that along with all the gorgeous pictures of you! :D

Jaclyn said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA QIUTING QIUQIU I LOVE YOU CAUSE YOU ARE FUNNY AS EVER ^_^ YEAH CAPSLOCK LOLOLOL. LIKE THE LAST PIC THE MOST!

wen ♡ said...

Lol @ the last pic ^__^
Wahh you look super gorgeous. I envy photogenic people.
Thanks for the tips ^^ ♥

Natasha Lim said...

LOL The last one afsgdklah
Help me pls

かほう said...

Great post! I actually think most of the bed/wall poses look nice with you doing it. Not very trashy looking at all. <3

I especially agree 'smelling armpit' pose need to stop. See so many people doing it, not attractive. At All.

btw, your white skirt/dress SO PRETTY!!! Where'd you get? ^_^

Cher said...

This whole post is very hilarious, the pictures all look so chio then you go and put those captions ROFL.
I agree with you about those lewd photographers. Everywhere man!

p/s I was already laughing through, your last pic made me did a natural 'chicken wing' :P

sarah said...

Hi i really love that white dress you were wearing! i was trying to find it for the longest time. :( can you share where you got it? please!

Yvonne said...

Haha omg QiuQiu!! My sentiments exactly! I even blogged about it once too!!

Anonymous said...

Josh took those photos for you? Awesome pictures!

Anonymous said...

thank you for making me laugh! you made my night! :D

Anonymous said...

OMG finally someone famous has spoken up about this issue. Love this post pls do more of these :D. & your last picture is hilarious, hahaha.

Anonymous said...

Last pic look a bit like Felicia chin lol

skinnyrichbitch said...

QQ! Super love your last pose! The sneeze-in-the-wall look..Lol!!

Raine Lee said...

I totally get what you mean ah! Funny post haha love you Qiu!

Anonymous said...

Loves it! Best post you've written so far : D

Anonymous said...

HAHA i love the last one! you’re so funny qiuqiu!! :D

Anonymous said...

last photo is epic but you look a bit too good for those photos to be bad.

Adeline Tan said...

hahaha.. Super funny and true too :)

Adeline Tan said...

hahaha. super funny and true.. :0

Rachel' Your Belove-d . said...

Ohmygoshhh , you super skinny can ! :B .

Rachel' Your Belove-d . said...

How tall are you ? :O

Mona said...

Oh dear, you are one of the most beautiful blogger ever!!<3

Lirin Amaya said...

Was having such a lousy day & the last picture really cheered me up alot!! hahah!! U're the best <3

SophieتIsExhausted said...

<3 all your post and love how you teach us to be ourselves! SO TRUE!!(:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOMG YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS. <3

Anonymous said...

i like ur past photos more :(

newfan said...

This blog entry is HILARIOUS!!! The truth with a tinge of humour! Keep it up babe!

Anonymous said...

You look like felicia chin in the last photo!

carol said...

you look like felicia chin in the last sneezing photo lol.

kxin♥ said...

坐不要坐好好 Hahaahhahaha. Love this post! :D

Saph said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOL BTH LAUGHING LIKE MAD NOW

Cause all of them is true. No seriously LOL its just tons funnier when you write it out :X

Krystal said...

OMG You look like Park Gahee!!!

Anonymous said...

omg, qiuqiu you are damn funny I buay tahan you alr! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA Love you omgg.

Elisha Bassily said...

ahhh you are so funny and beautiful as well >.<. i like how your posts aren't just fashion/modelling, you actually are real and not fake like other people! and very chio :D


http://totally-geek-out.blogspot.com.au/

Anonymous said...

Evidence that the talent scouting is scam: Your own pictures now look more professional than the studio ones!

Sammy said...

Qiu qiu can I ask what camera are you using?

~Zhenna~ said...

Haha very funnie, I loike this post!! :)

CL said...

Hahaha Qiuting you very funny and pretty!!!!!!!!

I love those photos in white dress =)
Perfect!!!!!!

Also thanks for guiding lost youngsters. Hope those model-want-to-be read your blog!

mzpudding said...

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!! I love how you gave literal names to the poses! LOLOL oh man literally burst out laughing in front of the computer ! i have the trashiest facebook friends who have this modelling thing going on, someones gotta put em back in their place LOL

Anonymous said...

hahahha i like the sneezing pose best!!! LOL

Eve said...

The sneezing one LOL! best

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing! you look awesome in the shoots!

the sneezing one made my day XD got more candid shots? (i sound so evil)

Whizzer's Rose said...

LOL! those are exactly the poses on photos I often see on FB. A lot of them are repetitive like they're the standard poses. Personally, I like taking photos more than posing.I like taking candid shots or pictures of people and not of "models" who look like they're trying to hard but I do love your poses-very professional though the poses as you say are "mimicking top models" keep up the good work ;-)

Stacia said...

chicken wing pose is practically in every high fashion magazine ads + editorials!!

Momoren said...

GIVE ME 100 REASONS NOT TO LOVE YOU. HAHHAHAH YOU'RE SO LOVABLE. <3<3

SaphireDrops said...

You look stunning in all your pics including the sneezing picture, cuz it just shows how down to earth you are.