I was out with my girlfriends Mich and Zhen yesterday and we were talking a lot about what's happening now and a little bit about what happened in the past and i came to a realisation that..
All that i allowed to happen to me in my life.. Was cox i don't know how to say NO. Hahahaha. I give you a quick summary okay.
When i was 13 yro (secondary 1) i had a crush on this senior in secondary 4, and it started from the day he walked behind me and told me "Cool man! Cow print?!" That was the design on the back of my bra lololololol. My uniform the top damn see-through but anyway that bra was a hand-me-down from a friend / my cousin, i can't remember. It was all cloth and super comfy.
But anyway.. I wore it everyday ever since til it was twisted and torn. LOL. And dirty O.O
Yeah but anyway i was thinking like "Omg he must really like me cox he noticed me!"
Plus we happen to be carrying the same backpack. I later carry the same bag everyday until i was in later part of Secondary 4 and had lesser books to bring to school plus i decided to be fashionable (lol) so i changed to a sling bag. All these.. When he graduated after just 1 year and i never see him again for the next three years that i like him LOL. And i never seen him eversince.
So long story cut short.. Just becox i THINK he like me, i totally "like him back" for four years wtffff. Hahahahahah. I was so crazy i used to write his name ALL OVER all my textbooks =___=" My father, i have let you down. All the money you spent to let me go to school.. Lololol.
But anyway the truth is.. HE HAS NEVER EVER LIKED ME. 一点点都没有. LOLOL. So i feel this whole time i like him sooooo much just cox i thought he maybe got a small chance like me.. Was just really a waste of time. Lol. 4 years of youth, gone. LOL.
Then again.. Nobody like me (except a relief teacher who told me he like me on his last day of teaching, which was just creepy) in the 4 years so i guess it's no loss. Hahaha.
Then later me and Mich and Zhen went to work at some seafood restaurant right.. At night we always go KTV one. Then there was one server at the KTV who told me i look very cute and he want my number.. And then i gave and then i totally like him back!!! =____="
I was just 16.. And i like him back for 1 year plus almost 2. He was totally taking me for a ride lah. MIA (missing in action) most of the time. Sometimes for days. Sometimes for weeks. Sometimes for months. Lol. Like i cannot even reach him at all cox the only thing i know about him other than his name.. Was his phone number.
Later i realise he has a girlfriend, whom he cheat on, to be with another girl.. Of whom he also cheated on. But whatever.. He has a REALLY small dick, i never see before becox i never even hold hands with him before but one of his girlfriend later turn out to be my good friend lolol.
So i guess that's all the retribution he deserves for taking innocent girls like me (back then lol) for fools!!! I decided to go to Singapore Poly despite having zero friends heading there becox i knew he was going there to study optometrist please omg? LOL. I am sorry my father, all the tuition fee loan we took up for me to go to school.. To think my initial intention was to chase a boy. LOLOL.
Then later when i was doing part-time modelling i met this asshole photographer and we later went out for supper and i don't even think i'd like him cox he's fat and really not that good-looking. But then after supper he ask me if i would be his girlfriend..
AND I MEAN..
LIKE NO ONE EVER ASKED ME THAT EVER?????
So i was like OKAY!!!!!! =DDDDD
LOLOL. NBCB. Turned out he is married to a wife he cheated on with a girlfriend whom he is cheating on with me! ALL OF THAT I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL.. His girlfriend confronted me and i was like omg that is how pathetic my first BGR is.
In any casewe only dated a few months and in that few months he probably MIA on me like 80% of the time. So actually when his then-girlfriend confronted me i also feel a bit 冤枉 becox he probably had other girlfriends whom he spend more time with cox for sure he is not seeing me that much at all lolol. Anyway i spent my life in misery for like a year plus UNTIL i met Josh.
After our first official date he say he love me and i was like OKAY!!!!! =DDDDDDDD
So we pator for 7 years and he ask me to marry him and i was like..
You guessed it!
My girlfriends say 我真的很有礼貌 (that i am very polite). I agree. Hahahahaha!!!!!
Cox i never say NO to people! LOL.
Imagine how my life would have changed if on the first few days of school in Secondary 1.. I didn't like that senior and didn't spend so much time being obsessed over him and photocopy his face out from the year book and then cut out the photostat picture of him, paste it on a wedding picture i find in the magazine.. And then paste my picture over the bride face.. And then photocopy it out and then laminate it and put it in my wallet.. If i didn't do all these psycho things.. And instead..
Spend more time studying..
I WOULD PROBABLY BE A REALLY SMART GIRL!!! Hahaha. Given the fact that i don't ever revise my school work nor do i study for exams UNTIL right before exams.. And still manage to get okay grades.. I think i should be a smart girl! Hahahah!
And let's say.. I said NO to the KTV dude who took me for a fool and didn't spend many nights on the phone with him just listening to his horrible singing and then later have my heart broken again and again becox he constantly go MIA on me..
I wouldn't have so readily say YES to the asshole photographer cox i am just so desperate to finally be not single, thinking that no one will ever ask me.
But then again you see..
If i didn't meet the asshole photographer.. I would never have met Josh, someone who could really accept me for me. I mean not all of me cox Josh hates it when i sing lolol.
So i guess..
If i had learnt how to say NO earlier..
Everything would have been different but i cannot imagine it could be any better =)
So.. I don't know! I probably still wanna teach my daughter next time to just chill and don't just go OKAYYYYY!!!! =DDDDDD when guys ask her out lolol. Cox now i look at it..
I would bitch about me with the words "Despo, easy, loser" LOL.
But you can tell i am a very 痴情 person right. Lololol. So blind to a point it's quite stupid.
On most days i thank god i am married cox i really really have no freaking luck in all the love games and relationship drama. Everybody just chill and say OKAYYYY!!!! =DDD And you follow through with your words until the other half tell you to stop. Love will be so much easier like that lol.