30 March 2016

Bit by bit

I have almost two months worth of mummy and baby update that i haven't get down to clearing.

Was in a very bad place and i couldn't do a lot of things.. I lost passion in a lot of things..

I don't enjoy food anymore, i eat not becox i am hungry.. I don't remember feeling hungry..

I eat becox if i don't, Josh will be upset..

But fast forward to today.. I've accepted my feelings and i've been opening up to people to seek help, in the sense, to feel better. To open myself up in the sense.. I accept light in..

I mean.. It's nothing shameful to borrow some energy and light from others when you've been cheerful and happy around them all the time previously HAHAHA. Borrow lai, borrow qu. Okay what! Why was i feeling so guilty and ashamed and the whole "Don't wanna worry them" concept..

It's so wrong. I got it all wrong. The more i keep things to myself, the more they worry becox the more i will collapse and that will really worry them. So yes, i'm trying my best to be better bit by bit each day =D

I spend time with my family, friends and i spend time doing more constructive stuff!

Like..

Guest singing at Starker Music.

I've always find joy in singing but for the longest time, i haven't really sing and feel happy..

Sometimes the things that you have always loved but lost along the way, will be the things that you realise could bring you back to when times are simpler.

So i feel.. 一定要记得常做自己喜欢的事..

Don't get too caught up with unhappy things.. And forget to give some attention to the things that can bring you joy.. Yes yes yes, i know i am just telling myself that as well, and i know sometimes we all forget, but i hope that everyone can remind everyone to be a little kinder, be a little more patient with everyone else.

One of the things that brings me joy - Spending time with family. Sijie brought all of us along for her food tasting session @ Pizza Hut! Just nice family bonding time haha plus can try out their new Seoul Sensation menu. But actually Pearl ask me along just to help her take pictures lah =_____=" HAHA. 我几时沦落成这样. 曾景何时 i was the only "star" in the family LOLOL. Now i am the photographer cum assistant cum advisor cum pao kopi one for Pearl 姐 LOLOL.
First thing that come - Yuja Chamkkae Wings! Two plates not enough LOLOL. I mean seriously, Ah Bong alone already took 5?!?!?! Then Yurou also can eat cox not spicy. So we buay paiseh-ly asked for 1 more plate *cover face* LOLOL. Sorry this is what you get when you invite PearLang and her cuu lai lang (family member) HAHAHAH.
Really too good lah this one! It's like savoury and citrusy cox got Yuzu sauce! Very juicy inside also cox it's baked to perfection~ OMG I CALL DELIVERY NOW LAH WTHHH NEED SOME NOW.
I ask Pearl to pose for the camera she ask me how, i had to show her. 让前辈示范一次. Learn well, my disciple LOLOL. Anyway this is their freaking good Hut's Caesar Salad. Got soooo much liao inside omg. Really it's so good as a starter for sharing but honestly i don't mind having it as a main cox there are always some days I need a "cleaner" meal and its so satisfying!
Okay sorry changed my mind HAHAHA. I take pasta anytime LOL. Their new Spicy Chikin Pasta! What i love most about this dish is the different textures in it! Got lots of mushroom, chicken and capsicum in it! Everything goes very well with the Yang Nyum sauce they use!
Prawn Aglio Olio, i only had a bit of this cox erm *stares at Ah Bong* LOL but it was really good!
Everybody makan~!!!
Yurou enjoying her FREE KIDS MEAL from Pizza Hut haha. Pizza Hut serve free kids meal during weekdays, all day!!! I didn't know until i saw Pearl's dayre post wth! https://dayre.me/pearlang/CKAEabfslx - Just have to have a paying adult and it excludes eve of and public holiday. So good one whyyy!
Little Miss Grumpy and me haha.
Josh took this picture, i had to share it. The all new Seoul Sensation pizza looks soooooo good here!!!! The base is also Yang Nyum sauce, with chicken chunks, mushroom, capsicum, onion and pineapple! I ESPECIALLY LOVEEE PINEAPPLES ON PIZZA HAHA. My weak spot.
主角 with 主角 of the day! She also appeared in Pizza Hut FB page leh hahaha 红了咯! You guys can see the pictures here https://www.facebook.com/PizzaHutSingapore
Meredith, the menu cannot eat one. "Oh, sorry" Haha.
My face when i can't eat until i help Miss Popular here take finish alllll her pictures lolol.
Everyone do one #SeoulSensation pose haha. Even my papa also volunteer to join hahaha.
How about the sweetest way to end the meal!!! I LOVEEEEE THEIR MANGO PUDDING WITH ICE CREAM!!!! T.T It's really really refreshing and comforting for me cox got mango pudding, got lychees, got ice cream T___T ALL MY CHILDHOOD FAVOURITE DESSERT IN ONE..
Thank you Pizza Hut for being sooooo nice to host Pearl and her family which includes meee~ =DDD It's very refreshing to go to a food tasting session and not be the one invited LOLOL. You know, just eat, no stress. LOL. I have now till 26th April to eat all I want in the Seoul Sensation Menu! You guys also go check it out lah! It's really good. Read from sijie's dayre she say can win Pizza Hut vouchers also. You can go check it out to see how to win! =D Good things must share.
Family time = Good time =)))

And other than singing and family time.. I also have started to love makeup more and more haha.

I mean previously i was always going for one or two looks. The "barely there" look where i have light makeup, or the "panda inspired" look where i just took things a little further than i should LOL.

These days i try to take joy in colouring my face. Playing with new lip colour from L'Oreal. It's a CC lip balm. The colour is crazy intense but still super duper moisturizing for the lips. OTTOKAE?!
Wore this for my guest singing session at Starker Music and i was feeling really pretty and confident in my $5 dress so i took the effort to walk to the restroom and snap a mirror selfie and then post it on instagram. But then right after this picture was taken and posted.. Josh spill a whole cup of water on my crouch. SO MUCH WATER UNTIL MY UNDERWEAR WET WTHHH. Hahahaha. Sorry if it sounds any bit sexual but it really is not, it's very paiseh. I had only 20 minutes before i go up to sing so the whole time i was just trying to la liang my underwear to dry it by flapping my dress fmlllll.
Also wanna share with you guys how i've been obsessed with Pitu LOL. Really can make any no-makeup selfie chio untilll.. Can change hair colour, put contact lens, draw eyebrow, make nose bridge higher, tilt your smile to be more smiley, add blusher, add foundation, draw eyeliner, add double eyelid, add Korean cute eyebags etc LOL. Endless. The possibilities of the things you can do to make yourself look chioer in Pitu, endless lolol.
Also, i'm 1-2 kg away from my goal weight. Way to go~!!! Bit by bit, i am becoming better in every aspect of my life, bit by bit, i will be super duper formidable again =DDD
Also did the chioest manicure i ever did with Oh Nails for my Japan trip coming up! You can whatsapp 98627122 for appointment! Will share more on my instagram!

Okay lah i thought i should come back here with some happy light hearted updates becox you guys have been so supportive, you ought to know i'm coping better!!!

Not good yet, but i know i will be very fine!!! =))

Thank you for all the emails, snapchat messages and instagram messages.. And comments on this blog.. I read them all.. Thank you =')

11 comments:

Michelle Yap said...

It has been so looooooooooooong to wait for your update! more please :D

Daphne Chai said...

QiuQiu 你好。自从我知道你过后,你对我来说就是个阳光女孩,从你还没结婚,到你结婚,到你有了Meredith,都是很开心的一个人。看你的video,听你的笑声就够开心了。最近发现你的post都比较emo,我不知道发生什么事,我也不能过问太多。只希望你和你家人都开开心心。

祝你平安,开心,幸福。加油。

Loraein Lok said...

jia you!

hope you enjoy ur upcoming Jap trip...

Anonymous said...

hi qiuqiu, so happy for you and so proud of you to be putting the best priorities in life around you now, soaking in all that positive energy and love from your family and friends! you're doing great my dear :) light chases away the darkness, and there is nothing to fear! keep it up and continually heal yourself, and may this time be one of learning to love and treasure yourself, the people around you and to rediscover the simple joys in life :) after all, we all have our battle scars to remind ourselves of not just what may hurt us, but also what we treasure (our beautiful skin...haha). you're truly blessed to have such a great community and family. slowly but surely, bit by bit, you'll make it through I believe in you! :) hwaiting!

Puffy's said...

Qiuqiu.. you sing very nice!! should sing more!
And also hor.. the $5 dress dun look $5 at all!!!Budget Barbie FTW!=)
Love you lots! Please continue what you doing. you never know how many people you inspire out there unknowingly =)

Nana Lopez said...

Whatever you are going through, remember that we, your followers will always have your back. Hope you feel better soon.

Also, you are looking prettier and prettier.

Thanks!

All for sales... said...

hi QiuQiu,

I am your 'newest' blog reader & i had liked your facebook page too. :)

Stay happy and strong.

I envy that u actually had very supportive and loving family to help you out.

I was in very low and bad mood 6 or 5 years ago, that was when my younger son was born, my husband was having problem staying with my family, he isnt in good relationship with his parents as well, work isnt doing smoothly.

I think i almost fall into postnatal depression, luckily my mum keep asking me to go out to do something i really love like shopping/eating, so long i do not stay at home & keep thinking about all the problems. I had problem dealing with my daughter(who was about 3-4yrs old) too.

I cant say all are doing good now, I still face problem everyday. My parents arent in good relation with my husband and vice versa. But come on this is life, life isnt always bed of roses & most importantly life still goes on. right:)

I find that u might also have problem sleeping in some nights? I suffer from this too sometimes, if it gets too often, i will consult Chinese doc(TCM),their med really effective on me, i will have good night sleep. is not addictive, after 3days i will sleep normally without med. :) u can try @ your own risk lah(anyway i always go to Makuang).

I also listen to youtube of 'Ajahn Braham', he is a British Buddhist monk who live in Australia Monastery now, he is a author to several books (Dont worry, Be Grumpy & etc), after listening to all the talks, i slowly learn to take things differently. Change whatever not good in the past, learn not to think too much, do what we need to do and do it our best. Thats what i believe in.

I sincerely wish you well. :) Do not forget u have a loving husband and the cutest daughter whom love u dearly.

Love, Annie (New reader):)

All for sales... said...

hi QiuQiu,

I am your 'newest' blog reader and I had liked your facebook page. :)

Stay happy and strong.

I envy that u actually had very supportive and loving family to help you out.

I was in very low and bad mood 6 or 5 years ago, that was when my younger son was born, my husband was having problem staying with my family. luckily my mum save me by asking me to go out myself to do something i really love like shopping/eating. i had problem dealing with my daughter too. I cant say all are doing good now, I still face problem everyday. My parents arent in good relation with my husband and vice versa. But come on this is life, life isnt bed of roses, life still goes on. right:)

I find that u also have problem sleeping in some nights? I suffer from this too sometimes, if it gets too often, i will consult Chinese doc(TCM),their med really effective on me, i will have good night sleep. is not addictive, after 3days i will sleep normally without med. :) u can try @ your own risk lah(anyway i always go to Makuang).

I sincerely wish you well. :) Do not forget u have a loving husband and the cutest daughter whom love u dearly.

Love,
Annie (New reader):)

Anonymous said...

don't let people whom don't even mean a single thing in your heart, or people who don't even know you put you down. be strong and put up a defense wall blocking idiots out of your way if you have to. no one is perfect but everyone deserves to be loved. I'm sure you will get thru this.

Meredith is the cutest baby girl i know (apart from my own nieces, yiyi's bias, hehe), and envious that you have such a beautiful baby girl. When you feel down, remember that you mean the world to her, and you are definitely nothing less than perfect to her! :)

Dharshni said...

Qiu qiu stay strong and stay positive! Nothing in your life is random just trust the process and u will be surprised to find urself stronger and bolder! U will truly be unstoppable then! Waiting for that day! ^_^ :D
With love from India

Dharshni said...

Qiu qiu stay strong and stay positive! Nothing in your life is random just trust the process and u will be surprised to find urself stronger and bolder! U will truly be unstoppable then! Waiting for that day! ^_^ :D
With love from India