22 November 2012

Filling the blanks with thankful feelings

I know a lot of you have been really nice to me, all the while. Josh, my family, my friends, my sponsors, my readers and the Nuffies. Even my doggies are nice to me haha.
But sometimes all i wanna do is to sleep and wake up a multi-millionaire and do more for people and things i love. But if it's not happening now..

I guess i just have to fill in the blanks with thoughts that keeps me going.

What is this feeling that i just feel like crying almost all the time.

I get upset with people outside, i call Josh and cry.

I open up sweet gifts from readers in my room, i say several Thank Yous and then i tear.

I read the comments people left on Budget Barbie 50th Episode (it's been two years since i first hosted Budget Barbie =')), i cry. Btw, two years ago i very ugly. Wtf was i thinking, i remember thinking i was very chio and felt confident hosting lolol. Hahaha.

There's a lot of things happening in my life right not. I mean.. Not a lot, it's the same things, but different happenings. Same, work. But different jobs. Same idea of wanting more money, but different sum. Haha. You know what i mean..?

I mean, i realise maybe.. Enough is never enough.

If you have $10,000 you will think "But it's not even enough to buy a car".

If you have $100,000 you will think "But it's not even enough to buy a property"

When you can afford to buy a property, you will think "But it's not even enough to buy a nicer, bigger, more conveniently located property "

Maybe that's what keeps everyone going. I don't think it's lack. It's just things to work ourselves forward to. You know, like something you need to keep yourself on the move.

But sometimes you're not even sure if you can be really happy with something bigger, better.. Until you get there. Sometimes the process of getting there already makes you damn unhappy.

Not saying i am unhappy lah. I am mostly happy. It's just sometimes, you go URGH. Especially when people and things make you lose faith in them.

Today was great.. The fashion show, the people backstage, you guys who came to say hi, Mich, Zhen and Josh coming down to accompany me through out, Pizza Hut putting in so much effort for our dinner session, Nuffies going down to help out the whole day.. And the gifts people passed me, everything was good. Thank you.

I was really feeling very happy and grateful with everyone who helped me.

Except at the end of the day, i met with a problem. And the reason why i have this problem is becox.

I am not a multi-millionaire (yet).

Feeling a bit down.

But i will keep reminding myself that things are okay and it can only be better.

I just have to believe that i can. And that it has to start from me.

I have ten thousands pictures in my computer. Will update with pictures really soon. Everyone who went for the dinner session say they prefer seeing more pictures on my blog. And that the words i write on my blog are.. Nevermind, i understand where you guys are coming from. Haha.

I write a lot of rubbish.


Unknown said...

You don't write a lot of rubbish. Honestly, I find posts like this one much more interesting than the ones with a lot of pictures and less text. It feels more personal and I love reading about people's thoughts, and yours are actually very deep, even if you don't realize that.

FiSh said...

yor... why am i not in singapore, so that i can go to the dinner too!! :P

Latest: Baby White is Camera Shy!

Anonymous said...

I love your this post!! I dont think your thoughts are rubbish.. If you stop, you are not yourself anymore. Its your thoughts and you should pen it down:)

Courtney B. said...

I don't think it's rubbish at all. It's YOUR blog, you write YOUR feelings, and post cute photos when you want to. If others don't like it, they can skip the words and lurk your Instagram for photos. People can be so hard to please :/

Alice said...

Noooo I want to see words!!! Haha nvm maybe it's bcos of diff age group wtf.
Jiayou, Qiuting! You'll always be loved! :)

Winnyta said...

its not rubbish. Everything that you write always had meaning behind it, either made me laugh or had some meaning. Keep writing qiu! hopefully i can meet you one day and take photo with you >__<

Unknown said...

please! write more when you feel like it! I always read with interest!

Unknown said...

Please write more when you feel like it! Always read with interest!

hanneebuff said...

I don't think you write rubbish. I love your self-reflections because it made me always think why am I not thinking more about life like you? Sometimes also you get too deep but maybe you don't know that cause people are saying you are shallow? <-- not so sure about that tho.

Anonymous said...

youre not a multi-millionaire?
you mean you're a millionaire? by being a blogger? O.O

Anonymous said...

You're filled with crap. A problem just because you aren't a multi millionaire? What kind of bullshit is that?

Anonymous said...

I get that feeling that you're actually trying to sound intelligent for once which you totally failed to do. The whole blog post was crap and did you really have to state all the obvious? Honestly I find your blog one of the worst. Don't understand why people actually read them.

Anonymous said...

I get that feeling that you're actually trying to sound intelligent for once which you totally failed to do. The whole blog post was crap and did you really have to state all the obvious? Honestly I find your blog one of the worst. Don't understand why people actually read them.

myworld said...

why Singapore is so far away???

myworld said...

why Singapore is so far away

Anonymous said...

I actually find this post very interesting. Yes, I visited your blog in the hope of looking at gorgeous fashion runway photos, but your inner thoughts were strangely relatable. Was learning a little about satisfaction utility in school today and realise how we can never treat every single thing with an equal amount of satisfaction.

I guess this is human nature, isn't it? We always want more whenever we achieve a little something instead of stopping to smell the roses and appreciate what life has given us. You're definitely not alone.

Keep writing. :)

Nadine von Sparkling Hearts said...

Dear Quiting, please always remember about one thing: How important is it to be a millionaire, when your husband has a immedicable and deadly disease? Its worth NOTHING.

The hughest and best luck in the world is to be healty and to have a healthy family. ^^ And you will never get this with money (not with 1 $, not with $).

Anonymous said...

you are awesome and love you your blog the way you are!
keep it up! you are definitely getting better! getting there! ;)

Yuxing said...

xD You are so cuteee~! <3

QiuQiu said...

Calily, haha i try to keep a balance of words and pictures as much as i can although i'm more skewed towards posting pictures. Thank you thou!

sugarfreecourtney, yeah i'm sure most are okay with my words it's just they would rather see pictures!

Alice, haha you so supportive one you everything also will like <3

Winnyta, yeah if we ever meet we can snap pictures!

Gunila, thank you very much =))

Hanneebuff, i never think so much! I just write more when i really feel like rambling.

Anon, if i am, i still need to fan nao meh.

Anon, go fuck yourself then. Why are you here. And why are you back to see this comment.

Anonymous said...

You are my favourite blogger!! Please don't stop writing long posts, I love to read your thoughts. You're so funny and unique. too many people only have pictures and pictures. Having text posts as well as pictures is best.

Winter said...

The reason nothing is ever enough is because if you get what you want and stop there, you have nothing else to do. The work never stops, and once you get to your goals you have to set new ones. Without somewhere to go, no point in living. So get your million, and when you do, get another.
Love you and love your blog.

Kelvin__C said...

I prefer words rather than pictures!!!

Jir0x3 said...

I like when you post with feelings of positivity :-) Just do it your style thats what makes you blogger bongqiuqiu haha