09 April 2013

Action - Reaction

Today i try to ask myself if making people see it the way i see it is even necessary.

Background story
Today i saw a little commotion on my instagram. I posted a picture of myself yesterday. Say really not say very chio lah but i had makeup on so i also don't think it's ugly / scary like how my makeupless pictures can get hahahah. Eh i also got self-realisation skills one lolol.

The commotion was this girl (maybe 11 or 12 or 13 max?) commenting "She is the ugliest thing i've ever seen" and then some people reply to tell her off very mildly and she keep coming back to comment saying things like her pictures are at least better than "this crap" (my photo). Haha.

So i went to her profile to take a look. I'm like HOLLY MOLLY SIMIDAIJI?!

I laughed a bit cox it's really like.. Whaaaaat?

So i screenshot her pictures in thumbnail and post it on my instagram to relate what happened. I can't lie, saying i didn't expect people to bash her online. I EXPECT people to do just that becox i understand how human beings react when they see something like this. But this is what everyone should expect. Expect from the understanding of how things work..

I didn't expect them to bash her by asking nor by saying "Bash her cox she's rude" that's not what i would most love to have happening to her, but that's what she should have expected when she troll on someone ; That people CAN choose to get back at her.

That if you do something bad, be prepared to get a reaction. And be prepared on how to handle the reaction. That is not too hard a concept to grasp right. Some people call it karma.

Take for example, me putting up her picture, I expected that there will be people giving me moral lessons on what i'm doing is wrong too, "two wrong doesn't make a right" what i should have done is to ignore, what i should not have done is to get petty with a 12 year old "She's just a 12 yro! Geez! What is wrong with you?"

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with the society! Taking pity on people who deserves none.

12 year old kill your mother you don't get mad ah.

12 year old eat your last piece of the yummiest brownie on earth you don't get mad ah.

12 year old use black marker scribble "SO UGLY" on a painting you worked on for 3 days, you don't get mad ah.

Every other day a 12 year old come throw an egg at you, you don't get mad ah!!!

Dare to tell me she's only 12 year old.

12 year old dua ki?!?!

I was 12 year old once! You were 12 year old once! Did you go around telling people "You're ugly" and when told to stop, you just keep doing it more?! Did you?!

12 year old leh. You can already understand the multiplication times table but you don't understand what is BASIC MANNERS MEH? Mai lai.

She's just being extremely annoying and nonchalant about hurting people's feeling lah!

And this would probably be how she's going to grow up being, if nobody shows her what is "Action ↔ Reaction"

I am just showing her what to expect if and when she do something bad to people. I can handle the reaction from what i do in hope to make her understand what she did was wrong. But she can or not? Cannot don't ever do something like that again, it's very simple.

Like i always believe, a good person, even after making a mistake, can come out of any ordeal or problems in their life, a better person. If the person is ill-natured then no matter what, things are not going to turn out well. So this can be a turning point for her if she takes it well lah! I didn't even charge her. And i have to go through people judging me for it. I say i deserve some credit. Lolol.

And then more irritating that there are people telling me "If you really want her to understand you should say it to her nicely, teach her what is right and wrong" Oh really.. Cox last time i checked i didn't give birth 12 years ago.

Then i think we can safely conclude that that would be..... Her mother's job.


I am sorry i can't be holding everyone's hands and telling them softly at their ears "Hey there sweetie pie, you are 12 year old you should be in school having the best time with your classmates and bestfriend, playing sports you like, do cheerleading if it makes you happy, chase a butterfly in the garden or kick a ball, or write in autograph books, play with instagram if that's what you enjoy but you can't be going to random people's pictures and leave them nasty comments okay? Becox people have feelings too. And if you make them angry they can do things back at you and you can't blame them for that cox you had a choice earlier and you choose to plant a bad seed"

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, i am one person and i don't have time to smooth-handle all the 12 year olds especially not when parents are giving phones with data to more and more kids of more and more younger age.

Heck, Baby Yurou is 1 year old 20 months and she has one iPhone and one iPad to herself. Thank god she only use them to play games like plucking beansprouts and making pancakes.

In short, do only good things. Or do mean things but don't get caught. Or do do mean things, get caught and be a better person. Just be good or shut up, is the best lah.

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

All you cutesy beauty bloggers are the same. Look all sweet and "shu nu" but actually, damn mean when people step on you.

美啦,美人不过是小人。

Anonymous said...

The last time I check, there wasn't a rule that stated 'shu nu's cannot have a temper too. Come now, why let some people bash you and criticize your face and show me that you will quietly accept these rude comments with open arms.

Don't preach what you yourself cannot follow.
I agree wholeheartedly that those who dare to act in a certain manner, should then willingly face the consequences of their actions.

km said...

Agree wholeheartedly. If you wanna leave comments, be prepared to back it and face agreement/disagreements. So what if she's 12? Rude is rude regardless of age.

Anonymous said...

I agree wholeheartedly with your post! Don't let the haters get to you <3

Raine Lee said...

I super like this blog post & agree with you!! *thumbs up*

Anonymous said...

I guess this happened because people have the mentality that young children should be protected. But its true, she should realise that her action has consequences and i guess she is just learning the hard way now.

Hui J said...

some ppl need to be taught la, these days, there are alot of no manners kids snooping around.

Hui J said...

kids these days need to be taught ,man...!

12 years old not that small liao lo. I mean if they didn't like someone pics, just skip it!

Anonymous said...

You're right. I am only 23 and still far from being a mother but I think rude children come from bad parenting.

It's okay. It's good that there are both good and bad comments for that incident

Bad comments: Make society more responsible for the potential internet abuse they can create with words and 'anonymity'

Good comments: Make the bully-ers not feel like they are being one-sided bully.

I think you are a nice person and am glad that you know how to stand up for yourself. Being selfish is important

Anonymous said...

sometimes we need to give them tough love in order to make them understand that every action comes with consequences ... -peace-('_')v

Anonymous said...

@bongqiuqiu, make love, not war.

Anonymous said...

Ya, tough love, revenge, true...

Tough love, just show 1 picture, dont need a whole collage.

Revenge, is done by 小人, not 君子。

Sure, it sucks to be criticized. But when people lash back, it is not with so much self-righteousness.

Some more, just a small thing. Not like the girl called you a whore or family breaker or something really bad. Need to shame her so much meh?

很瘦,很苗条。不过太没肚量了吧!

Anonymous said...

Last I checked: 淑女气质和风范的涵义绝对不等同于中国传统意义的礼教名词,它是新的历史条件下,女人在仪表、谈吐、举止、思维上和行为习惯上一种独具中国特色的女性魅力,真正表现出女人纯洁、温柔、真挚的人格魅力的方面

Anonymous said...

LOL. So u treat someone who said u r ugly as someone who kills your mother? gosh. U post pictures of yourself almost everyday, I read your blog from time to time and follow your instagram, n I do think you are pretty before or after surgery (after makeup of cuz). but huh, u accept only people who please u with positive comments but not anyone who says the opposite. u r funny and mean. ya it's not the matter of age, but the action of saying that u r ugly get returned with the reaction of having so many of your fans leaving nasty comments to her, really? R u happy after doing so?

Anonymous said...

If u can't take even one negative comment y don't u just filter out those comments which are not supporting you or those not saying 'qiuqiu u r pretty'? =.= yaks.

Anonymous said...

I agreed with your post, doesn't mean you are young mean you are pardoned when you had done something wrong, same goes to - doesn't mean you are senior people mean you are pardoned also, young kids who are rude should teach a lesson, even if we did not teach them a lesson, i believe somebody would teach them a lesson too one day and might even do it worse than me, young kids nowadays should know what they do would backfire them back if done in a wrong way eg. Being rude or insulting....I am a tutor, I had came across many rude and arrogant students and yes i do blame their parents for not bringing up them well and pamper them too much, so beside teaching them school work, I do teach my students how to be a good person and when they grow up but still I had met unreasonable parents who think very highly of their children and blame everything to the teachers and tutors .talking about senior people, I had a big fight with one of the auntie who rent a place at my brother's house and boy she was very rude and called me a bastard and yes she was old enough to be my mother, why I quarrel with that auntie because my sis in law called me for help because that idiot auntie was scolding my sis in law, knowing I am a very fierce lady, I went down to help and when things don't go that auntie's way, she started calling me bastard and name and etc. so she being a senior, iI must pardon her also just like in this case, the 12 yro girl is young so must pardon her and not get back at her. And what does it got to do with whether you are pretty and must have good heart and when people screw you,you keep quiet?!?! When you are rude irregardless how old you are, whether you are 12yro or that stupid auntie, ought to teach a lesson , that auntie called me a bastard, you expect me to keep quiet and said, ok she is senior, old people must respect, she call me bastard and I must be cool and keep quiet?!?! Two words: screw you!

Anonymous said...

I agreed with your post, doesn't mean you are young mean you are pardoned when you had done something wrong, same goes to - doesn't mean you are senior people mean you are pardoned also, young kids who are rude should teach a lesson, even if we did not teach them a lesson, i believe somebody would teach them a lesson too one day and might even do it worse than me, young kids nowadays should know what they do would backfire them back if done in a wrong way eg. Being rude or insulting....I am a tutor, I had came across many rude and arrogant students and yes i do blame their parents for not bringing up them well and pamper them too much, so beside teaching them school work, I do teach my students how to be a good person and when they grow up but still I had met unreasonable parents who think very highly of their children and blame everything to the teachers and tutors .talking about senior people, I had a big fight with one of the auntie who rent a place at my brother's house and boy she was very rude and called me a bastard and yes she was old enough to be my mother, why I quarrel with that auntie because my sis in law called me for help because that idiot auntie was scolding my sis in law, knowing I am a very fierce lady, I went down to help and when things don't go that auntie's way, she started calling me bastard and name and etc. so she being a senior, iI must pardon her also just like in this case, the 12 yro girl is young so must pardon her and not get back at her. And what does it got to do with whether you are pretty and must have good heart and when people screw you,you keep quiet?!?! When you are rude irregardless how old you are, whether you are 12yro or that stupid auntie, ought to teach a lesson , that auntie called me a bastard, you expect me to keep quiet and said, ok she is senior, old people must respect, she call me bastard and I must be cool and keep quiet?!?! Two words: screw you!

Anonymous said...

To the anon who said " ya it's not the matter of age, but the action of saying that u r ugly get returned with the reaction of having so many of your fans leaving nasty comments to her, really? R u happy after doing so?"

You can't blame a lion for blowing things up if it eats you AFTER you throw a rock at it. The girl commented on Qiuqiu's pictures in mean spirit and she REPEATEDLY did so even after being told off. By condoning her she will just think she can get away with anything she says on the internet. Who is to say this mean comment wouldn't lead to her cyberbullying someone else in future?

Anonymous said...

First of all, you need English lessons. Your English is horrible and not understandable.
Second of all, you don't make sense at all, your arguments, well, you don't have any arguments.
Third of all, saying you're ugly doesn't mean she's rude, it means it's an opinion, she took a look at your picture and thought you're ugly. If you think, everyone is going to think you re pretty, well you're wrong dear. Besides you're on the internet, you're insignificant to most of your viewers/ readers, no one is going to care about your feelings, and you obviously don't either.
Going to her profile and harassing her isn't going to solve the problem at all. You're just being butthurt and can't take a comment. I would say you need your mom's parenting, I guess she didn't do a good job raising you.
=)

Qiuting said...

Anon, 谢谢你的夸奖。 去吃屎. Who say i MUST be nice when people step on me? I SAY NOBODY TAKES SHIT FROM ANYBODY if they don't want to. You think everything is free? Steo on people don't need to pay for consequences?

Anon, AGREE!

Raine, thank you! Yes i do think she at least learnt to private her profile already. Lol.

Anon who say make love not war, i try most of the time. But nobody should expect me to do it all the time.

Anon, 谢谢你的夸奖。 去吃屎.

Last anon before my comment, yes of course i am not significant to my followers, you are very significant to me. Among the 15,000 readers daily, you are the most significant. Please don't stop reading my blog even though my English is bad. PLEASE. Your English is perfect i would love to learn from you!!! I hope you're happier after this comment becox you seem REALLY affected by my blogpost even though i am so insignificant =)

Anonymous said...

Her English isn't good but coming from someone who says third of all when third is all, I'm sure yours is marvelous.

Angel Vanity said...

Really love this post! I totally agree with you

Anonymous said...

One word : unprofessional.

piiyup said...

i wanna start a blog. i think i am a strong person but i dont know how i would handle neg comments. i think you are really strong Qui. just keep being your ace self because they will never have your success. its like a two finger to all the low lifes out there.

Anonymous said...

My goodness, guys. The main point is not Qiuqiu not being able to accept the negative comments - God knows how many she receives on a daily basis. The main point here is, even if the instagram girl's 12 she shouldn't be behaving like this. If you wanna preach bad behavior, just be prepared to face what you sowed. That's karma, simple as that.

Anonymous said...

Have a bit more self-confidence, why let these petty comments get to you? If you can't even tolerate such criticism/opinions then perhaps you should reconsider your career choice since it inevitably exposes you to public nitpicking.

Anonymous said...

With all due respect:

In the eyes of the law, she is still a minor and the photograph you posted is still the photo of a minor. You may have your own standards for 'maturity' and how children should be disciplined, but the fact is that the law considers her an minor and considers you an adult.

You could have typed out warnings/rebukes to her, but refrained from posting her photograph. Posting her photograph crossed the line, and this behavior is actually illegal in many countries (because she is a minor under 13).

For example, Facebook automatically removes unauthorised posting of photographs of children under 13 when notified/reported, because this is illegal in many countries.

This is really not about who is mature or being 'nice'. You're the adult, she is the minor. When adults stoop to having pissing contests with children, it often looks bad on the adult (rather than the child), and in some cases can verge on contravening the law.

Anonymous said...

Hahhahaa! Love this. You covered every single loophole, not giving anyone a chance to shoot you in between. Good job! *Supports standing up for yourself*

Anonymous said...

Keep your opinions to yourself. That's what my mother thought me. How about you sad little anons? If you think a person is ugly, why must you insult the person? Your mother never thought you to only speak of constructive criticisms one is it? Tsk.

Anonymous said...

I definitely agree with you. At 12 years old you are perfectly responsible for your actions. You know what you are doing and whether it is right or wrong. My brother is 12 right now and he knows how to piss people off and knows how to push buttons. You have to punish him or else this habit will continue. 12 is a such an impressionable age.

Why are people saying that you should let it slide?? If someone calls you a fucking idiot are you gonna let them? NO. This is the real world. People need to learn that you can't always let it slide or else people will just keep walking all over you. That girl needs to be put in her place and learn that life comes with consequences.

Anonymous said...

I definitely agree with you. At 12 years old you are perfectly responsible for your actions. You know what you are doing and whether it is right or wrong. My brother is 12 right now and he knows how to piss people off and knows how to push buttons. You have to punish him or else this habit will continue. 12 is a such an impressionable age.

Why are people saying that you should let it slide?? If someone calls you a fucking idiot are you gonna let them? NO. This is the real world. People need to learn that you can't always let it slide or else people will just keep walking all over you. That girl needs to be put in her place and learn that life comes with consequences.

Anonymous said...

Come on la guys. why make this world such an ugly place by criticizing and shooting back and forth. no one is supposed to be rude to anyone else in this world. even though yes she's young, but still the fact that she has the mentality to shoot someone at such a young age, shows that how the world has taught her to be, and she's learning from the adults, us. look at what we are all doing now!
And there's no fault with Qiu qiu to let her know that she's unhappy with her comment, no one likes to be criticized, its only human nature. so give her a break, admit it, we are all here because qiu qiu blogs well alright. who says blogs must be of super perfect english and all, we are all singaporeans la. and a blog is a blog, not for some official publishing too..

gwen said...

To all anons who said that qiu has to accept all the nasty comments, 很瘦,很苗条。不过太没肚量了吧!, that if she can't she should reconsider her career choice blah blah blah crap : Qiu may be a blogger, but she's a human with feelings too! And that does not mean that she should accept such criticisms or nasty comments! Your parents doesn't teach you to go around insulting people, do they? (Or maybe they do, thus you think that such actions are right.) How would you feel when some 12 year old kid on the bus, taps you on the shoulder and tells you right in your face how ugly you are repeatedly? And you can't retaliate because she's just a 12 year old "innocent" girl. How do you feel? Can you accept it? Can you just stand there and pretend nothing happen? If you yourself can't do that, then don't expect qiu qiu or any normal person to just quietly accept it.

Anonymous said...

I'm mostly a silent reader while randomly browsing through 'famous' bloggers' blogs. However, this post made me furious enough to do so.

I was thinking of typing a whole thesis essay listing down reasons why it angered me, but then I realized that doing so makes me no different than you or the little girl who kickstart this drama.

All I would have to say is, having superficial and artificially constructed beauty (be it through makeup or cosmetic surgery) can never mask an ugly personality that is self-righteous in every right (pun intended).

JH said...

I agree that being young doesn't give you the right to hurl mean remarks on others irresponsibly without having to face any consequences. Yet I feel that by retaliating through shaming the person, we are not any better than them. To forgive probably might be the harshest punishment we can give to the bully. Just my 2 cents.

Anonymous said...

Seriously u are also immature! Why be a public figure if u cannot stand to take a criticism??? U choose this path to not make yr photo private and share here share there than be should be prepared that not all your so called followers or fan will like u or think u are pretty! There is always a fair share of haters and lovers there! U cannot expect that every single time u post your pic people will like it! Theres always a saying be prepared for the worse. Anyway, yes that 12 years old girl is still wrong for passing such judgement and not putting it in a nice way but hey everyone see things in a different way. What u see may not what other ppl see. Yes, she should learn some manners but what can u expect from a 12 years old girl who still cant make the right decision? Maybe she is just saying it out harmlessly but the fact that u have to do that to her is uncalled for. Dont pretend to tell ppl to be nice to each other and all sweet and lovely and the only victim when all u do is to take revenge whenever u are unhappy? Why cant u just passed the remarks off? Who are u to stop her from her opinion? I thought u are better off being more mature but looks like u are also one of them.

Anonymous said...

I'm an avid follower & a believer of the secret. & I realized in recent posts, i only see bashful content protecting yourself against comments esp after the surgery. Nothing wrong with protecting yourself. Just sad to see lesser of grateful thoughts:(

Qiuting said...

"U choose this path to not make yr photo private and share here share there than be should be prepared that not all your so called followers or fan will like u or think u are pretty!" -- She chose a path to put up her picture and chose to be rude, not once, but many times. So..?

"All I would have to say is, having superficial and artificially constructed beauty (be it through makeup or cosmetic surgery) can never mask an ugly personality that is self-righteous in every right (pun intended)." -- I guess better than looking bad and being bad inside too. Not saying i agree i am bad / good inside as you'd judge me cox i am sorry but you don't know me. Continue reading famous bloggers blogs thou. Don't get too angry. If this blog makes you too angry, don't come back.

"To all anons who said that qiu has to accept all the nasty comments, 很瘦,很苗条。不过太没肚量了吧!" -- I really don't understand also lor! Why they have to bring my looks in. IT DOESN'T MATTER I PRETTY OR NOT what i am saying is if people wanna be rude, they have to pay for it!

"One word : unprofessional." -- not my job to be professional when handling spoilt brats.

"If u can't take even one negative comment y don't u just filter out those comments which are not supporting you or those not saying 'qiuqiu u r pretty'? =.= yaks." -- you must be stupid, if i can't take negative comments, i wouldn't be starting a blog. IT'S NOT ABOUT WHETHER I CAN TAKE NEGATIVE COMMENTS. It's WHY should i let it go every single time? I feel like it, i always have a choice to get back.

"Tough love, just show 1 picture, dont need a whole collage." -- Don't bluff. I post one picture you will still have shit to say.

"The main point here is, even if the instagram girl's 12 she shouldn't be behaving like this. " -- Thank you. Haha.

Love Jam said...

The girl wil be 13 next year?
12 today an online nasty.
13 next year and onwards I won't know what will happen.

Even on the internet there is online etiquette.

Lucy said...

So what if you backlash at someone now and then?
If you encourage a 12 year old to do stupid shit, to not show any consequences, or even say its "wrong", they are going to CONTINUE to do it when they are older.
That's whats wrong with so many kids nowdays.
Teenagers 10 years ago had limited access to the internet, if at all! No way for them to hide behind the screen and be little bitches (Excuse my language) thinking there are no consequences.

I can't believe some of you are criticizing qiu for something that SHOULD be done.

your reader said...

hey. sad to say , youre indeed changing from a ordinary qiuqiu to a (...)qiuqiu . as a reader , what i personally like about you and your blog is because of your da fang ness and not this .

Melody said...

Hello, Whoever you "美啦,美人不过是小人" if one day someone " Step on you" , you please say thank you and spend them lunch or dinner ya !~

Anonymous said...

Those who said Qiu should have ignored the comment probably didn't even see what that vile kid posted. If she had said those stuff to someone's face she'd most likely get slapped. Lol. I say she deserved to be taught a lesson. No pity for her.

Anonymous said...

This just shows the kind of person YOU are, qiuting. ;) good job in showing that you are a lowlife just like that 12 year old.

Anonymous said...

totally agree with Qiu. I'm still a teenager but i can see that it is important to not be rude to others.
I mean seriously, i don't get it why people must assume that famous bloggers have to be perfect, they cannot have "not perfect" photos, cannot be rude, cannot fight for themselves, cannot do this, cannot do that. They are still humans and do what humans do! like each and every of us.

I don't believe those people who scold Qiu, when their pict get rude comments they won't be angry and still can be angels and tell the girl. "nice girl, please do know that this is rude, i'll treat you ice cream if you learn from it." now that's fake.

Angelus Chan said...

I totally agree with you, Qiu. You see, some people may say we act like we're god or their parents teaching them lessons, but it's because their parents are not teaching them what's right.

Also, no point in telling them nicely. You can only learn when lessons are taught and when they have to experience it themselves.

Let people bash her so to let her know how much it sucks that her actions of bashing you hurt you too.

xoxo

Anonymous said...

I do agree that the girl was in no position to be rude to others, whatever age she may be at.

That being said, the situation might've been handled better. Yes, the girl insulted you and that was wrong, and you had every right to retaliate. What you could've done though, was not to post up her picture for all your fans to slam (like one reader said, it's actually against the law; besides, it hints at the misuse of your position of popularity to get your fans to collectively attack the girl--which I feel may be going overboard in this case). Instead, you could simply have rebuked her directly and let her know of her wrongdoing via personal replies, one-to-one. Just like how she aimed her insult at you, you target your criticism straight back at her, directly and personally, without intentionally involving any other party (because after all, the case is between just you and her right?).

Also...the issue of her beauty/looks is rather irrelevant to her rudeness, isn't it?

I'm not trying to assume a righteous position here--all of us have blind spots etc. and it's perfectly acceptable. What we could do for ourselves though, is to try to work on those aspects and to resolve matters as peacefully as possible. Just my two cents on the matter:)

Wengie said...

Internet bullying has to top! If this 12 yr old did something like that in school a good teacher will pull her up, so why shouldn't she be pulled up now??

Just cos ur behind a computer screen does not mean it's ok!!

Wengie said...

Internet bullying has to top! If this 12 yr old did something like that in school a good teacher will pull her up, so why shouldn't she be pulled up now??

Just cos ur behind a computer screen does not mean it's ok!!

Wengie said...

Internet bullying has to top! If this 12 yr old did something like that in school a good teacher will pull her up, so why shouldn't she be pulled up now??

Just cos ur behind a computer screen does not mean it's ok!!

Anonymous said...

To the anon who said "U choose this path to not make yr photo private and share here share there than be should be prepared that not all your so called followers or fan will like u or think u are pretty!" You know what? The brat too, chose her path not to make her pictures private. So, that's too bad for her when strangers took her pictures & give nasty comments right? And who are you to stop others from their own opinions (Does it sound familiar? Lol)

"U cannot expect that every single time u post your pic people will like it!" > Yeah. But that does not mean that you should pass nasty comments on someone you don't even freaking hell know? Common sense? No? (Maybe not. I pretty much guessed)

"Not saying i agree i am bad / good inside as you'd judge me cox i am sorry but you don't know me." And i'm sorry, but you and that brat doesn't know qiu either.

"Who are u to stop her from her opinion?" And, Who are you to stop qiu from giving that brat her opinion?

After reading your comment, i've only got 1 thing to say, please. do not breed. You'll probably teach your children, hey it is right to go around giving STRANGERS nasty comment. The nastier the better. Why? Because they have no right to stop you from your own opinions. Thumbs up to your logic.

Anonymous said...

Just read this, and to all those who troll, you're most probably ugly people yourselves with no character at all. Hiding behind the computer being a keyboard warrior is just pathetic and speaks volumes about your personality (or lack of.?). Btw qiuqiu I think you're pretty, and your personality makes you more so. Shine on!