Sometimes i wonder if everyone.. Just for one moment.. Believe that they can want anything..
With no limitation on what, who, how, where and why..
What would they wanna be..
What would you do? And who do you wanna do it with? And where do you wanna do it?
Do you sometimes ask yourself these questions?
Or maybe you don't do such boh liao thinking / daydreaming
I have many little big dreams.. And i feel it's all gonna come true. But sometimes it's just.. The way there is confusing.. And it can be upsetting.. And a lot at times, life throws you misleading signs. You know you're supposed to follow the signs and go with the flow instead of fighting it but how do you do it when your self-belief is strong? I assume that cox someone who doesn't believe in herself will not be upset when life tries to test her belief and patience. Haha.
Okay i ask you.. When you eat durian, do you insist on opening the final thin wedge? I do. I will insist my dad / the durian seller to open up the thin wedge. And even thou 9 out of 10 times i'd be disappointed, i still believe with all my heart each time, that there will be (a bit of) durian inside that thin wedge.
And this is a problem i have! I am a little bit insane sometimes. Not all the time. Just sometimes. About some things i feel strongly about. And i don't feel strongly about a lot of things.
Things i feel strongly about are like.. I must clean the headboard of my bed EVERY NIGHT before i sleep. And that there should be extra food leftover on the table at the end of the meal, if i am paying for the meal. And that you should never like your own picture on instagram. Haha.
I don't think i wanna explain why i am persistent about those stuff, you can figure it out. But actually you don't have to understand.. I am sure there are somethings you do, that i'd never understand haha.
And it's okay, i'd never go leave you a comment telling you how you are nasty and how you suck.
What was i talking about. About insanity + positivity. Right. Positivity to believe each time you do something that didn't get you results the last time you did it. I think it's a crazy exciting ride.
But at the same time i feel life itself is a continuous effort of wanting and achieving and wanting more and anticipating and then getting it all and then finding other things to find.
Unless of course if you're into zen and want nothing but the sound of water and a grass mat haha.
Only when i look at babies and kids/ when i'm in Disneyland, and when i'm looking at the sky / looking at the sea.. Will i feel like.. "Okay, i am good already" Like that moment i don't need to pursue more things. But then again, when i get to reality, i realise i have needs.. To be a better person, to be more capable. To provide. To protect. To make people i love proud of me.
After listening to songs that makes me happy and blogging all these random shit out, i have decided that no matter how sometimes i might feel tired, helpless and insignificant..
I have to remember to say YES.
Say YES to myself. Yes, let's go again. Yes, let's give it one more try! Yes, you're awesome. Yes, of course! Yes, let's make it happen! Yes, you're right! Yes, you can! YES, ME!
Becox no matter how many times the durian is not there.. At least i never give up believing.
Can you believe?