These days i have been feeling super unattractive and messy and heavy and even if i have makeup on rare days.. I don't feel like taking pictures O.O
So far i've put on 27kg. Walking is making tired more easily.. Standing for more than 15 minutes hurts my feet. And i am constantly feeling breathless cox the baby is crowding my lungs haha.
Before pregnancy i was 48/49kg max. Now i'm 76kg T.T
So anyway as the title says.. I'm having serious pregnant blogger's block haha. Actually this block does not limit to just my blog. My entire life is blocked. LOL.
There are a lot of things i need to get done. For example.. Clean out my beauty room to make space for the baby items. Baby will be sleeping with us until we shift out of this house lah. But it's just that the baby will have lotsa items sent over by different sponsors and we'd need space for that.
But so far.. I haven't been able to get down to it. Well i did get Josh to buy me a low stool so i can pack while seated down instead of having to bend and squat lol. So MAYBE i'd do it this Sunday.
Or the next. Haha.
So yeah.. In case you're missing me and my random thoughts..
Just know that it's all blocked now hahaha. 因为我太大块了.
Even thought i feel a lot more these days.. Get emotional over a lot of things more easily.. Tear up much more easily and laugh much much more too.. When i get down to the computer..
It'd all become "I am so happy" or "I am so sad". I can't elaborate more. Becox i'm either lazy to (most likely) or my brain can't think of better way to say it haha.
Most of the things i think about at night are about the baby and the delivery. Sometimes my thoughts become so overwhelming i feel like puking. Like i am so thankful for a lot of things that i actually feel like puking cox i cannot believe i am so lucky. To have a child growing inside me.. Each time she kicks.. I am happy.
And this kind of happiness is so huge.. It makes you think about what-if. Like what if it's taken away from me. I think i might die.
Like this happiness is as much fragile as it is magical.
So i am very thankful but i am also kinda scared.
But i know i know i know everything will just be good =DDD I am positive mostly!!! Maybe it's just the late nights.. Cox pregnancy insomnia is common.. And then when i finally fall asleep i can't sleep for more than 5 hours haha. So all the time spent lying awake on bed is just.. Mostly being thankful..
And then being worried all these perfect little things happening to me now will be taken away. Like the best husband i can get.. Who is nothing but patient and caring during my entire pregnancy so far..
Like my family.. My sisters.. My friends..
And all the wonderful possibilities my baby will bring into my life..
But then when i have the "want to puke cox too grateful for the perfection but scared that i will lose any of them" feeling.. I will quickly brush it off. Cox i guess if i can block things from coming out of my brain (Blogger's block haha).. I can block negative things from coming into my brain too =D
This block is pretty useful!
What the heck did you just read, right? LOL. Good night.