24 January 2014

7 Day of Deep-Breathing later..

Hey, so it's the 7th day of my anger-management training lol.

I imposed this on myself cox i am a decent person but i snap too easily. And sometimes it makes me a monster momentarily.

But it's not the serial-killer kind of angry. It's more like bouts of anger from things and matters that annoy me.

Not sure if i shared this with you guys but when i was much younger, i actually used the hairbrush to hit my own head repeatedly cox i can't get it out of my crazy bushy head of hair. Lolol. It just got stuck lah!!! When i finally pulled it out, 6 or more of the plastic bristle dropped off the brush.

And stay in my hair till today lolol. No it is not in my hair anymore lah but i did went to school with all the bristle in my hair that day. So i shouted at the brush "你去死 你去死!!!!!!!" and fling it REALLY hard out of the window and i wish it a sweet suicide and probably told the brush i will now go kidnap and kill her parents. You know, just to threaten it before its death.

Lolol. That sounds pretty crazy. You don't wanna know what i did to my mother's alarm clock and my shower gel bottle last time *angry face*

But all that was when i was really young and cox i watched too much TCS drama lolol. One of my favourite lines before i flare up is "你不要敬酒不喝, 喝罚酒" Lololol. Also learn from TV one.

Anyway the past 7 days i only flare up a few times lah. Once at Kungfu Paradise at Bugis+. If you read my Dayre you would know what happened lah. It's just a bunch of monkeys who pissed me off.

And then at Art Friend (Taka) i almost flare up another time cox the cashier girl was sooooooooo......

Soooooo....

SO SLOW.

And then halfway through her counting our items which already took a thousand years, a random lady came and ask for the cashier's permission to put her filled basket at the counter while she continue shopping. And the cashier reply:

"OKAY BUT I AM NOT SO FREE TO HELP YOU LOOK AFTER YOUR THINGS HOR? YOU CAN SEE, I AM VERY BUSY NOW. CAN SEE?"

Yeah, busy aging me into a 90 year old woman looking at you taking 937269 years to count less than 20 items. When i was still an egg i could count faster than you.

I was sooooo annoyed cox she's so slow.. That i had to clench my wallet and take deep breaths. Lolol.

But in my head i'm like "HALLO HURRY UP LAH YOU THINK YOU DAMN SEX?!??!!? YOU THINK YOU FILMING MTV?!?!?!??! EVERYTHING SLOW-MO!!!"

But IRL i'm all like *breathe in~ breathe out~*

Another time i lost my cool was when Twitter refuse to let me upload a picture *RAGE* I tried for like 8 times. And it all didn't get saved in the draft. It just disappear. Twitter is so fucked.

So i cursed someone's death. Anyone.

But then later i decided that it's okay, i just need to breathe. Nobody will die if i don't upload the picture. So.. I am sorry if anyone working for Twitter died. Lolol.

And then i saw the video of the boy disobeying the teacher, and then being rude to his teacher and then demanding the teacher to apologise *RAGEEEEEE!!!!!!* I sort of ranted about it on my Dayre lah, but i was really angry at that moment so i wanted to dig the boy's eyes out and cut off his ears.

But now i a bit more calm already hahahaha. I just feel like there should be some kind of teachers' union to protect the teacher. Like if they are good but get fired for stupid complaints from the parents, then the school have to speak up for the teacher.

Ah why, buay song? Bring your child elsewhere lor. Stupid parents just want TIP-TOP treatments for their kids even when their kids are half-fucked lah. Okay i get it, to every parent their kids are most precious. Don't say their kids, even to me, my nieces and nephews also most precious.

Yeah okay but make sure YOU discipline your kids first for an environment call school, where many many other precious kids of parents, go to learn, and pay the same amount as you did.

Why, your boy can walk around in class and distract others? And the teacher cannot scold? He where big? You where big? I don't understand what's the big deal lah, unless it's like some majormental or physical abuse, i don't see how punishments are bad. IT IS GOOD. Punishments are always good.

It's sad but punishments are good for good people to stay good, and good for deterring bad people to do bad. Ah boh why not whole world just do as they wish?

Like the stupid boy in the video i am talking about, if everyone just do what they want, when they want, and learn no boundaries, learn no discipline lor. HOW CAN LAH?!?!?!? Fucking retards asking for freedom when they can't handle it.

I can't believe when i saw comments saying and agreeing that the teacher is a control freak, and that the boy is just trying to communicate with someone else but not in the video frame, so what's wrong.

WHAT'S WRONG??!?!??!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU ARE ASKING WHAT'S WRONG about that!!!

Of course it's wrong!!!!!!!! How can the teacher have order in class if everyone start to behave like this out-rule and start talking and walking around like the classroom is his fucking fish market.

There's nothing wrong with asking the boy to go back to his seat lor, he should never be standing up and walking around when everyone is sitting anyway. Not as if the teacher is Loki and speaks to everyone in a demeaning way and demand everyone to kneel before him.

So no need to cause an uproar everytime you think you wanna be "different". You are not the ah pek who refuse to kneel in The Avengers. And Captain America will not be there to shield you from Loki.

Don't tell me the whole "listen to your teacher" thing hinders creative-learning ah please. Creative learning is encouraged in many other ways but definitely not by defying the teacher like this.

Omg i SHOULD START A SCHOOL!!! Every kid will be very creative one!!!

My school rule shall be.. Be creative but be kind-hearted and polite. And my school shall produce the best kind of teens who will turn to be the best kind of adults. Lolol.

Okay i drifted a looooot.

All i'm saying is.. Being angry 4 times in a week is really quite an achievement for me. Usually i get angry at least 3 times a day. Maybe. Unless it's a day of hanging out with friends / family. Then okay, i don't get so angry. But i can't help it if the world's gadgets and internet-connection and internet-disgrace and non-living things have something personal against me

So i told Josh "I only got angry four times this whole week. Praise me"

Josh say no encouragement. Cox since i am undergoing a training, i should not even get angry.

Okay fine. Then i shall proceed on with the next level of training. Which is..

To put my first week of training into usage and not get angry at all for one whole week.

Okay!

And since now my back is so screwed up, i barely have the "fire" to get really angry =( Most of the time i'm just worried and bothered by the pain. My appointment is fixed on 19th February!!! At TTSH ^.^ Thanks to Janicia i manage to get an earlier slot lah =X If not initially the polyclinic wanna offer me October 2014 for CGH and then i change to SGH and luckily got March.

But thanks to all the good people, i manage to get Feb now!!!

So from now til then i'm just going to practice back-care loh =( It sounds like a thing for old people.

HAIIII.

Okay lah! I go take a break! I am giving myself a bit of time off the computer cox sitting on the chair for anything more than 20 minutes gives me numb legs and feet.

Thank you to those who gave me suggestions and advice on my back! I hope i recover soon!!! =D From this "back pain" episode i realise that i have a lot of very smart readers hahahaha.

They say like attracts like. OMG I AM SMART TOO? Hahahah.

7 comments:

ailing chu said...

omg talkig about your mother's alarm clock!

when I was younger my parent's set their alarm clock for me when they were out.
sometime in the morning it rang and I just kept lying in bed cursing that damn clock like 'if you ring one more second I gonna beat the shit out of you, you fkn little bastard' like for what seemed to be 100 years. the whole time I thought 'just one more second.. one more... NOW'
when I finally decided that enough was enough the clock actually stopped, but I was sooooo angry, I set it to ring in 5 minutes, waited for it to ring, got up again and smashed the thing against the wall so it shattered into a million pieces... then I went back to bed HAHAHAHA
my parents mega pissed when they came home and saw what happened wtf xD

Jocelyne said...

You've inspired me to work on my own anger issues haha. I think only 4 times in a week is really well done!

Hanna Lei said...

I didn't realize you got mad that easily! -Hanna Lei

Jo said...

have the same problem with you! I get angry easily eventhough there is ntg to do with me and it happens real fast! Few hours I will angry one time..LOL...My parents said, I am so underweight because I get easily angry and that’s why metabolism rate is higher..hahah! i guess i should follow your 7days anger management practice! btw, really love reading your blog and your sister's blog... both are so inspiring and funny! hahah!

Anonymous said...

Wahh you're a lot like me, easily get angry over random things, most of the time it's the senseless and rude creatures in public transport and pretentious smart asses on the internet. My husband always scold me "no need to sweat the small stuffs" but STILL. Now I just come to conclusion that I hate ppl, except my husband, family, friends and generally nice & polite people, others can go fuck themselves la, I'm doing my best not to care. Anyway, I hope your back get better! :) xoxo

Anonymous said...

I'm also like you... But I came to realize that others won't feel anger or hurt when YOU are hurting inside because of your anger. Are you also like me - from anger to hurt and sadness? My family members, dad and aunt have died from cancer and I think honestly, this might have been a reason - unable to control one's emotions... So for the sake of your loved ones, learn to control.... I'm sure you do flare up at Josh and your family members too, when you get really mad. Then end up feeling so guilty about it right? 泼出去的水收不回来!

Anonymous said...

Fuck you get angry for havivg a face like yours!