It's been a week i have Baby Meredith in my life. I will definitely share more in details when i can cope better with recovery, the newborn and work. But now i just wanna share my thoughts on being a mom for the first time.. In the first week.
One sentence could sum it up - I am truly humbled.
Humbled by how much love and care people around me shower me with.. Humbled with how amazing it is that a tiny life sprouted and appear in my life.
The other morning i was just sitting with Meredith by the window.. She was as usual being a sleepyhead while sunbathing. I look at her chest.. I see veins and i see her tiny chest moving up and down as she breathes.. And i think to myself.. The wonders of Life.. I was again humbled. Something so beautiful is right in front of me.. And i (sorta) made it. Haha. Well okay, Josh and i made it LOL. Can't take credit for everything.
Talking about Josh.. He has been the best husband during my pregnancy.. I didn't think he would be even better at being a father.. We don't have confinement nanny nor helper nor parents with us so basically handling baby is all down to Josh and a me who is not fully-functional. In other words, Josh is now taking care of two person with lotsa needs. I tear up a lot just from giving thanks in my heart.
To help us cope better my sisters especially Pearl also help us a lot and she would check on me everyday to make sure i am not feeling too stressed about breastfeeding and all. All the little things my family do for me.. Again.. Make me feel like i haven't done good enough to be deserving.
Maybe it's the post-natal hormones but every time i use something that was given to the baby and me, i feel so thankful and blessed. Meredith is endorsing three brands so far for a year each.. Biolane, Merries and Philips AVENT. And the sponsors have been nothing but generous to us both.
Also Thomson Medical Centre sends over my confinement meals twice a day and it's all good nourishing food.. It makes me feel very thankful that even little things like this is taken care of in my life.
So i say.. I am truly blessed in many ways by big big love. And for all the downs that face during this first week with breastfeeding, with slow-recovery etc..
I tell myself it's okay.. It's gonna be okay and it can only get better with time.
So far what i really felt was.. Almost every mom (and dad) deserve a lot more than they are recognised for.
For some point in their lives, you were their everything and all they wanna do is to give you everything they can, just to keep you happy, satisfied and safe.
Maybe along the way this instinct your parents have will not be so obvious, maybe in years to come you will find this a bother and wish they will leave you alone, maybe down the road people change and you guys might hurt each other.. But always remember that point in life where they love you with all their hearts and wish for nothing more than to be a better person for you..
It's unfortunate my relationship with my mother is nothing more than "I'd pay for things, i'd send you for holiday, i'd buy you concert tickets, birthday give you angbao" but i know she love all of us in her own ways. And from my delivery and from this week of being a new mom.. I will always try to remember the better of her.
Alright.. It's 6.15am.. My life is on a 3 hour schedule now becox of pumping haha. And i just took 20 minutes out to share these thoughts..
Back to this amazing little thing..