Hello!!! 2015 is coming to and end, tonight.. I just put Meredith to nap that's why i have some time here to blog on the computer.. =) And it's something i still enjoy doing, a lot..At the start of 2015, i was still pregnant and i made a list of things to do. Let's see if i've done them right.
- Give birth to a healthy and cute (very subjective LOL) baby ✔︎ My baby not bad quite cute LOL.
- Be a good mom BUT not forgetting to continue being a good wife, sister, daughter and aunt and good friend to the friends i care for ✔︎ Except being a good mom is not judged base on one year, or two.. It is going to take me a lifetime.. And i hope i can always be good even when times are bad.
- Stay sane after pregnancy O.O ✘ ✘ ✘ Work has been driving me crazy. Mid year 2015, i contemplated to just quit work for until Meredith goes to school. By then i can still clear work in that few hours without feeling guilty of not being able to be with her during her waking hours, cox i know she'd be learning well in school!
In 9 more months she'd be going to school T.T Time really pass so quick. When i called up schools to check out their programs and fees when Meredith was 3 months old, i was told by every school to basically calm my titties LOLOL cox it's not time for her to even go for school tour yet lol.
NOW YOU SEE LAH. In Jan 2016 i'd have to chope slots for school tours and in March go for school tours and she'd be going to school in September!!! Everything is sooooooo fast my baby is growing up too fast!!! I need to spend more time with her NOW!!!!!! Cox it's now or never cox she's never gonna be a baby again.. T.T I regret so much..
I regret the first few months i was so depressed with my issues from work that i cried so much and felt so negative about life and about people. So much that i was caving in a lot..
I regret that i spent so much time in anger and frustrations due to issues with work, that i neglect a lot of other better things in life.
Those precious months when my baby is a clueless little helpless ball of fats and veins are never coming back and i'm not going to spend more time feeling sad, or angry or trapped.
If people wanna lie, then they have to live in the shadow of the lie forever until they do something about it to fix it - By telling the truth, by admitting faults, and by making peace with those who are hurt and affected by the lies. Instead of getting angry and defensive when their lies and mistakes are getting close to exploding into a big pile of shitty mess.
If people wanna be difficult and mean to other people unnecessarily, then they have to be prepared for karma. It's not that i'm cursing, it's a way to comfort myself that for all the pain people put me through, i know someday life will have a way to bring the pain they inflict on people, back to them. Then maybe they can understand why we don't have to be so mean..
Cox for every problem, there's always an easier way to resolve but sometimes people are too blinded by their own ego to realise the need to be kind to others. To live and let live.
I know it might come across i'm evil too, fighting fire with fire, hoping that nasty things will happen to nasty people. But hey, everyone loves a good story where the bad gets punished and the good gets better. So please don't judge me hahaha. I'm mostly good.
But yes, if people choose to be nasty, that's something they have to deal with themselves, i don't have to deal with what they choose to do or choose to be! I am not their mother lol.
I just have to know that my conscience is clear and do my own preparation for in case shit needs to explode at least i can proof that i wasn't the one who filled up the shit bag =))) Sijie always remind me, when one is righteous, he / she have nothing to fear.
No i don't want any public drama, that's why i've been keeping very quiet about all the sneaky things people say and do to make my life difficult. But if forced to deal with nasty people, i am now mentally ready.
No more sleepless nights, no more feeling depressed, no more sadness from things and people who won't matter in a few years. Only clarity of how life should be. No bullshit no nasty people. I have bigger issues to deal with like what i should cook for Meredith's lunch and dinner hahahaha.
So all in all, i didn't stay sane in 2015. But i will be better even if people don't get better. RURAH!!!
- Rent out our current flat in Punggol and then move into a bigger rental house smoothly ✔︎
- Do something meaningful for baby and me and Josh ✔︎ I think the videos and travelogue i've been putting together makes some sense? =) At least we have good memories against the speed of time..
- Continue saving ✔︎ I tried my best T.T Although i'm failing hahaha but i never stop trying haha!
- Earn more money ✘ This year i slowed down so much with work that my income reduced but i am okay with it cox i earned Meredith's love hahaha. That should be worth something?
- LOSE WEIGHT!!! ✔︎ Not bad, now i am 56kg already!!! I wanna go down to 52kg so i guess i'm pretty close! =D 83 - 56 = 27kg. I lost 27kg!!! Not bad!!! Just four more kgs to go~!!! RURAH!
Thank you for reading me this year even though i update my blog 50% less often T.T Sorry!!! Promise to find more time cox it's so therapeutic to let my thoughts flow even if it's incoherent and even if only a few people will really get it hahah.
I might be the worst person to say this but blogging / writing about my life actually makes me happy.. Although it might be grammatically torturing to a lot of people hahahaha but it makes me happy.
And if reading makes you happy too, thank you =) I think we can go along way!!! I feel it i write it, you read it you feel it. Omg lyrics worthy or what.
Here's a paragraph summary of the highlights of my 2015..
Did the cutest photoshoot with Little Lzzie and Yurou when i was still pregger! Gave birth to the love of my life. Became a mom for one week. Went through the craziest, most painful and most happy three weeks of my life. Gave up breastfeeding with lotsa pain and sadness T.T Celebrated Meredith's first month!!! Shifted house and did a house tour! Went to Japan for my first overseas trip after giving birth and stayed in awesomest Hello Kitty Princess room and Hello Kitty Poptown room! Did up Meredith's nursery room!!! Celebrated Mid-Autumn festival with my crazy family hahaha. Went to Korea to fix my face for the last time!!! APPEARED ON A MAGAZINE COVER!!!
Yup i guess that's that!!! =DDD 2016 will definitely be a better one. 2015 only saving grace was the birth of my baby, and the love we receive from family, friends and my husband..
Wait, i think whatever i have despite the rest, was plenty good enough.. Haha.
Maybe i just need to learn how to focus on the right things. And fuckoff away from the bad things hahaha.