Josh and i often have little convos about what are some of the best things we can do for Meredith. He thinks the best things are to teach her things about life. To teach her everyday how she should treat people and situations. To be kind.. To be strong.. To ignore, to help, to mix with or to not..
While I think the best things is for us to work very hard now so that when she grows up, she don't have to worry about people bullying her and thumbing her down with money. Becox money is a very.. Odd thing.
Everyone loves it but everyone can misuse it. It can be a great power used by someone to help someone else but it can also be a great power used by someone to to degrade and destroy someone else.
And i want her not to be worried about people destroying her with money and at the same time learn to use it to help people. Helping people with money doesn't mean giving them money and then sharing about it online, waiting for people to tell you what kind of a god-like person you are.
Helping people with money could be you using the money to do something that can help them long term, or creating more awareness for the causes they are fighting for everyday.
I am not proud to say but i am not active in anything charitable other than the occasional donations to people whom i walk pass on the street. Even with those, i don't donate all the time especially not when i'm in a rush. So it's pretty much within my convenience, i do what i can.
Sad isn't it, i agree with Sophie (during our convo yesterday), that people are too selfish / lazy to care. Becox sometimes when you care too much, it ends up hurting you when you realise there's only so much you can do, and there's only so many people / animals / causes you can help.
You might already know, for the past one year plus i've been going through a really bad time of my life, it's over for me in the last 3 months not becox it's over but becox i decided to walk out of it and stop letting people pin me down with money. Scaring me into silence. Threatening me into retreat.
But after talking to many people who are in the same situations and after paying shitload of money to get my own legal advice from a top-notch team of lawyers, i realise that all these time, i was just too silly. Silly enough to walk into the trap of fear that they path out for me.
And through these, i vow to work harder than ever. Maybe it doesn't look like that on the outside cox i look very nua and i always tell people i love to nua sai but really.. I love to nua sai so much cox nua sai is a luxurious activity especially when you're a working mother. LOL.
I worked hard before i got pregnant.
I worked hard even when i was pregnant.
I worked hard even when i was doing my confinement.
I worked hard even when i was depressed.
I worked hard to pick myself up even when i couldn't do work for months.
I never stopped blogging. I might have slowed down but i never stop.
I continue posting things on Instagram, i continue staying in touch with people who care about me.
I continue delivering work when i have to.
Now i will do everything but with much more focus and with a vengeance to do better. Better than no one else but myself in the last few years. I wanna be better than me in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015.
And this motivation doesn't come by easy becox i'm not a easily very motivated person. I do work becox i have to do work not becox i wanna be better nor becox i wanna inspire. I do work cox i wanna get paid. Rest of the time i rather not do work and spend time with baby or spend my time working on things that makes me happy like writing baby's monthly dairy =DDD
So this motivation that was god-sent (literally by humans who think they are gods) and they have been preparing this gift for me for a year =DDD
Last year this time i was soooooo miserable and was in such a dark place that i can't even believe i made it through. Thank you Josh for dealing with the crazy wife who cries in a dark room. Thank you to my family especially my sister for supporting me through the months i couldn't work. Thank you to all the friends who felt for me and think for me and who genuinely wanted me to be better.
Thank you to Meredith.. For being mummy's only source of hope to live on back then. You are truly god-sent.
Everyday i am thankful for these people. For if not for them, i might have been gone by now.
Now it's time for me to return the gift to them by being a better me.
As for the people who shot me down, Thank you for your help in pulling me apart so i could fall to nothing and rebuild myself into something else.
I won't just survive
Oh, you will see me thrive
Can't write my story
I'm beyond the archetype
I won't just conform
No matter how you shake my core
'Cause my roots they run deep..
Oh, ye of so little faith
Don't doubt it, don't doubt it
Victory is in my veins
I know it, I know it
And I will not negotiate
I'll fight it, I'll fight it
I will transform..
A little something from "RISE" from Katy Perry who also had her fair share dealing with "snakes" in her life.. Except she might really had to but we commoners who resonate with it somehow all think we are not the snakes in our own petty situations in real life LOL. Did it ever occur to us that we could also be a snake, surrounded by many other snakes lolol.
So cute, when you watch a show where there are good guys and bad guys and you automatically assume you are a good guy just cox you can resonate with what the good guys are going through.
Calling people snake when you're basically an anaconda, that's just amazing to me. Is it like gods don't believe in investing in mirrors ah? LOL.
Katy Perry has another song call "The one that got away" maybe i dedicate this song to you before you worry about other snakes who "get away with it" =D
Anyway my point is, i am working so hard now becox i believe it's the best thing i can do for my child. I hope she will never be in a situation where people pin her down with money.
But more important than that, i wanna live by example to show her how even in the worst of odds, she can still walk out standing tall even after being on her knees, even after she's too beaten to walk.
And how important it is for her to treat her comrades well becox people who help you when you're nothing should mean everything to you when you're something.
And someday when you're somebody, remember to give it back to this beautiful world that offers you life.
Always help yourself and help people when you can, Meredith. And don't boast about it cox..
What you have is what you're given by life and..
What you're given can always be taken away if you don't keep it well..
This is what mummy can do for you to help make your life easier as you grow up to help other people for the right reasons.
"Hehehe i have zero idea what you're blabbering about, mummy"
She fell sick for a few days =( Fever and all.
But was still as chirpy haha!
We finally got to change his spectacles!!! He's been wearing the same spec without updating the degree for yearssss. So this is Fathers' Day present haha. We were so busy that this somehow didn't fall into priority when it totally should lol. Humans.
Meredith begging godma to accept the painting i painted LOL.
Haha! Godma cut hair for her LOL. Every month cut one time. Not bad. Free sponsorship til she turn 21 year old and got sick of helmet head. LOL.
Weekends are for nua-sai with yeye.
Meredith is really blessed. My sister found out she was having a bad phlegmy cough and she motorcycled all the way from my house to the honey place she works at to get her this. It's like almost $50 when my erjie usually won't even spend $5 on her own food LOL.
Pictures from Pororo Park the last time we went!
Hehe Meredith was so happy!
Father and daughter bonding time =))
Meredith, please always be so sweet.. In this picture Josh and i return from a long day at work and she sat on the stairs and gesture for me to sit beside her by patting the stairs T___T And then she went to Josh and pat the stairs for him to come and sit with us T___T MY DAUGHTER IS SUCH A SWEETHEART.
Playing with Niaoniao ah yi's specs hahaha.
And with mummy's tank top haha.
Rachell bought these fruit toys for her and as soon as we open it up, she feeds it to Monkey hahaha.
Now her play-pretend level up liao. Somemore can bring to stove and pretend to lift the lid to stir stir stir and then cover the lid again hahaha.
And when the food is cooked, ownself go find food-taster for food review HAHA.
Stingy baby is stingy. LOL.
Went for onsen and spa at Yunomori with Sophie and Miyake!
Lol this Miyake edit until we all look more humanly haha.
Erm.. Somebody really think she damn chio hahaha. Whole day look into mirror!!!
This was from when we were stuck in the rain with our trishaw broke down lol. Such is life. It was raining. Haha. So we rain in the rain to the nearest bus stop while Josh push the trishaw upslope. A bus driver toot the horn for us to board and took us to the stop nearest to our house along the way T.T
"How about a doe-eyed one then, mum?"
With panda shoes Rachell and Ah Giam got for her haha.
She asked us to sit on the stairs again and.. In that moment.. I remember i felt a very simple kind of happiness.. Of just being there, with my own little family..
Yutaki whipping up a feast for us at Rikeru's place!!! Salted egg yolk prawns and my favourite, tomato and egg!!!
Fashion Week everyday, all day.
Our customised white trishaw =OOO My papa gave it to us so that we can bring Meredith to school easily.. T.T And since it's gonna be parked at my place, i ask him to whitify it hahaha.
My dad asked his friend to come add some LED to it and i got a shock of my life when i saw my simple white trishaw flash like disco omg LOLOL. Then i told my dad "OMG 爸爸~ 为什么闪闪闪的???" He told me "这样才美嘛!!!" I'm like "可以不要吗..?" Lol so in the end no flashing lol. Really is 人的审美观真的都很不一样!!!
Brought Meredith out with Michelle's friends and kids and we went to a toy shop after dinner. Guess who isn't shy to make new friends with everyone else in the toy shop. Lol.
Every morning waiting for her to wake..
Haha pin up her hair to see how she will look like when she starts school next month haha. She doesn't seem to like it.
LOL. Seriously she tried sooooo many times!!! Trying to get into the house one way or another! Cheesie got her this town house =D It's so cute and it's so hard not to buy more things for the house but i can't! If i buy it now, it's all gonna go missing.
"If i can't fit in the house, i'd sit on the house" When there's a will, there's a way. LOL.
"I'm gonna try again anyway" Lol.
The sky during one of our evening trishaw rides.. =)))
Many faces that Meredith accidentally screenshot during her video call with godma lol.
One day Meredith dress up as a basketballer haha.
Hahaha got form got form. Lol. Looking so adult here!
"What do you mean mummy, i am just a baby"
Not looking forward to when she can really ask me to buy things. Lol.
"Thanks dad!" Haha. Wearing the Converse her dad got her months ago when she just turned one lol.
With her baseball cap omg hahaha she LOVE the entire outfit so much wth.
Sorry spamming pics cox the shoes is damn hard to wear ok. LOL.
Yuxuan came in matching outfit and then.. The rest is history. Lol.
There's no end to their love-hate relationship one. One moment fight over the ball. Next moment hug hug each other. And smile at each other.
Besties for life.
Yuxuan look so cute here!
So blur here haha.
And so much like sijie here hahahaha.
Cheesie came over with Carolyn to celebrate my cozy little birthday get together with my family and they brought a $168 Japanese melon over =OOOOOOO Everybody go crazy.
And the best gift i got that day? From Yurou =)))) She drew this and wrote it with the help of her brother and she took it so seriously.. Treat little kids with love and they treat you with lotsa love..
Cake-cutting time =DDD
LOL look at Junjun!!!
Now everyone help eat!!!
Fashionista at it again -_-" Haha.
Josh's favourite part of weekend - Play game with Ah Bong lol.
One morning.. =)))
When the clock strikes 12 on my birthday.. Yutaki and Miyake came over to give me a surprise! I was already with Carolyn so here's us~
Beautiful balloons they got!
BEST PART - DURIANS~!!!!!!!!! And my favourite grape tarts! Thank you guys!!!
And on my actual birthday, we went to indoor playground =)))
Belated birthday dinner with Ben and Jayne!!! =D
Rare occasions when i find Ben smart and useful: When he's the only one who can use a lighter LOL.
At a photoshoot for Elisa Litz!
Where Meredith met Baby Lzzie =))) She's so little and cute.. I can't remember when was Meredith like that.. Haha..
Lol Meredith please stop being so forceful when it comes to feeding people, sometimes people are just not hungry okay hahaha.
Meredith really thinks that everyone loves to be fed LOL.
May your heart be always pure even when you are growing to be unfit in a world that is not so..
She was so happy to have these alphabet cushion!!!
Broke into fake measles that day and i totally freak out =OOO Turns out it's nothing again and no cream or whatsoever needed. She doesn't even itch or anything, it's a viral thing apparently like probably caught it when we brought her to the indoor playgrounds. And then sijie very open-heartedly invite us over. And both her kids got it later. And erm.. Nope, i will not pay her the medical bill HAHAHA. It's so awesome to have big-hearted loving sisters like that..
Watermelon feast at Sijie's house..
Next day we went to find erjie at her work place and all these machines need $1 coin (which i am a hardcore collector of and there's no way anyone can take my $1 from my wallet) lol. So erm.. I refuse to pay for any of the rides so erjie have to pay for it LOL. Okay lah fine, later i got change my notes into coin at the note exchange machine lolol.
At Bread Street where i had quite a feast with Gem!
No chance to scream "IT'S RAW!!!!!" cox these pan-seared scallops were cooked so perfectly. Lol.
Thank you GG!!! =D Sorry nope, Good Feelim has no opening for talent. 你不要想太多 okay! LOL.
On the other hand.. Meredith had a date with godma..
For Mich's belated birthday celebration haha.
With Adeline's friends hahaha. Really my daughter crash people's outing until cannot.
I feel very warm and fuzzy when i learn about the background story of this Hello Kitty balloon. They were at Haidilao and of course there were other kids. One of the kids were quite a handful and quite mischievous i heard. Like normal kid lah, whatever Meredith wanna play, she will scream "no" or ask Meredith to go away. And Meredith saw the girl has balloons so Meredith pointed at it and that girl screamed at Meredith again lol. So Adeline was like 谁稀罕 and then her friend Eugene went to get Meredith this Hello Kitty balloon in the spirit of "now who needs your balloon" LOL. When i heard i ask them why they so childish LOLOL but actually i feel very very thankful that Meredith can be looked after and protected by even friends of the sister of my friend hahaha. 我女儿好幸福啊..
Meredith with her godma whose birthday is one day after mine.
I look so shit here LOL but rare selfie with Michelle Thian mainly becox she hates me. But i love her......... sister de friends LOL. That night they came over for KTV and they got me yummy stuff as door gift hahaha. These days got who still so zidong go visit people's house must bring door gift one.
Doctor Meredith on duty. She take the job very seriously okay. She can do injection, check your eyes, listen to your heartbeat and even use a pair of forceps to take out glass from your feet LOL. And when you cry, she can even help you put plaster =DDD Don't underestimate Dr Meredith
Also a rare selfie with Josh becox we hate each other hahaha.
One day i put on her swimsuit and she went to take this pair of sunglasses on her accessories table and started to do lotsa expression in front of the mirror by herself wthhhh hahaha. She was doing angry and then happy and then sad?!?! I'm like omg how self-obsessed can you be hahahaha.
"Bye for now, mirror"
"Mummy, your turn"
Another day.. I went out with Michelle and Yuzhen.. Michelle insisted i take a train together with her.. So i had to cab to the train station to meet her =____=" 这样你也开心 hor Michelle甜.
But i guess it's quite worth it cox we manage to take a continuation of this picture haha. Remember when i announce my pregnancy in this post.. Haha..
9 months of pregnancy and 1 year and 3 months later.. and POOF! It become coco crunch! Just like magic, Meredith became real =)))
It was us three..
And it still is us three..
LOL. The clothes Rikeru gave Meredith =D Cute hor! So hiao. Thank you Rik!
Went to meet Yuzhen to get her wedding invites and after dinner we spent all our time at Toys'RUs..
And nope, i didn't buy a single thing as usual. LOLOL.
I already kena blacklisted by my family, friends and Josh liao. HAHA. For always bringing Meredith to Toys'RUs and not buying anything HAHAHA.
She can play free toys for up to 1 hour plus you know. And the best part is when you leave you don't even have to struggle with taking toys off her hands cox she's been soaking there for one hour, nothing is SUPERRR desirable and fresh to her liao lol.
So my personal tip for parents are, only walk into toy shop if you can spend at least 1 hour inside LOL. Or be prepared to spend some moneh LOL.
Or you can always just carry your kid and run off while telling her you spot an elephant outside. She will totally buy it and help you search for the elephant and forget about the toy store.
Yup, 我们家 Meredith 是比较好骗.
Meredith at 1 year and 3 months old.. =)