19 February 2013

Special..

Do you sometimes feel like you are meant to be someone really special?

Doing special things.. With people you love especially.

At many points of my life..

I thought i was meant to be The One.

Like when i was younger.. If and when i share my toys, i get praised to be a good kid, i took pride in that and it felt special. Like the praise was exclusive to me. Like no one else is a better kid than me.

Then when i was a teenager, when someone tell me i am very sensible, like maybe when i do something that is filial / helpful to the family. That also made me feel like i am special.

Then i grew older to be a young lady, when people tell me i have the X-Factor to be this and that, i also felt super special. Like this is it.. I am meant to be a superstar. Haha.

And then i grow even older to realise.. That woman got more X-Factor than me. That other woman too. What the heck, that woman too!!! Hahaha. And then along the way, it's just too easy to find someone else who looks better, sings better, talks better, walks better than me.

And that woman can be richer, smarter all at the same time hahaha.

And then there will be many point of time you don't feel so special anymore.

But tonight i feel especially special.

Becox i walk pass the TV in my bedroom.

The TV i neglected and take for granted for like 3 years, mounted on the wall of my bedroom, right in front of my bed, where i can watch it with Josh at our leisure..

And i realise it's so thin, the TV.

And it's positioned at such a comfortable place for me to watch it.

Isn't thin TV for rich people? Haha. I've always thought that when i was less old. Lol.

But anyway our TV is $799 lah. It is not expensive. But it is a luxury to have a TV in the bedroom lah, i think. And then i sat down and start to think about other stuff that i am very thankful about.

I have A LOT of chocolates and tidbits in the fridge and in the cabinet. Also don't know when i started to get so greedy and unappreciative =X Like a lot of times i see them and i'm like "But i don't feel like eating this today"

Last time i went to a friend's place and i open up her two-door fridge and it was sooooo filled with food and snacks and i say i am very envious of her and she say everytime they forget to eat what they have and it'd be expired by the time they see it and then they'd just have to throw it away and i was thinking "What?!?!?!?! I would never ever be so wasteful!!! Omg those chocolates and snacks died in vain!!!" =OOO NEVER GONNA LET IT HAPPEN!!!

But now i periodically clear out expired food pile from the fridge and cabinet.

=( Boh bian, I GO SNACK AFTER THIS!!! Hahaha. All the reasons for snacking is there =D

And then i am very thankful for being healthy also ah =)

Lotsa things have happened recently, especially in the last two months.. And i interacted more with new people and i saw through some people. Can't help but to think that not everyone is meant for big things. Some people just wanna avoid problems at all cost by pushing it to you to solve. Some people have no initiative to be proactive. Some people are really okay to live day to day even when they know they lack, and they are not shy to ask for help from anyone to fill that lack.

And i realise maybe in this world, only a small percentage of people will look inwards when they wanna find something they lack, themselves. Most people leave it up to external factors to decide if they can do better or not.

I also learnt that i cannot make people think the way i think is correct for them. I cannot, and i should not. Becox they are not me. And i am not them. And i am not God.

But.. I am special.

Like there is something bigger waiting for me to go fulfill, for myself, for my loved ones.

It's hard to remember that although i am special, i am not that special and i have to appreciate as much things as i can. But sometimes i feel i only have one heart, how do i love so many things.

Wo xing de. Wo xing de. Wo xing de. Thankful for Drago, Tiffany and MooMoo is healthy. Please hang on young and cute, my three favourite doggies

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this post qiuqiu! Teaches me to learn to appreciate things and myself better! :)

Nana said...

Pffft..This made me cry. This entry is what I needed tonight. Thank you for reminding me of the beauty of life. :-)

Anonymous said...

Is really nice to know that your life is blissfully well now, am going through shit in my life and i felt so much better. Suddenly felt like i could hang on a little longer and things will be fine. Thank you

Christine Estrella said...

Relevant post when I'm feeling down at the moment. Great entry!

Anonymous said...

Qiu, pls fix your About Me column!!! "How else do you I pass my day?" It's been like that for quite some time yet nobody noticed it??? Haha.

Anyway good post and I am practising the magic too. =)

Anonymous said...

Was feeling so unhappy and unspecial and i thought " i m gna read bongqiuqiu blog to cheer myself up " !!! And this post is so relevant. :) yay thank u for reminding me tt i shouldnt be unappreciative . and its so true about growing up and feeling less special :(

Wendy said...

"I also learnt that i cannot make people think the way i think is correct for them. I cannot, and i should not. Becox they are not me. And i am not them. And i am not God."

I totally froze and stared at this for min. 5 seconds. I feel you... It's so right, but so sad.

Lexi said...

You're such a beautiful soul QiuQiu!! I can relate to many things you've said in this post. Thanks for bringing some other things (back) to my concious mind. Much of love! :)