17 March 2016

Penang Penang

Hello! Almost a month later, i'm finally putting down our Penang trip on pictures and words!

Wanna thank Carolyn for jioing us all over to bring us around for food and sightseeing! Haha.

Meredith falling asleep cox we woke her up a little too early that day haha.
View from above.. Actually.. I am already very lucky i can get to see this view.. Some people haven't the chance to fly and to realise how big the world is.. And how in between this crazy bigness of the world, everything is still functioning the way they should. There's a kind of peace you experience when you look at the world from a further, higher point of view.. Your problems become very small..
Arrived at Hard Rock Hotel Penang! We got the Roxity Kids Suite and it was quite awesome!
There's a kid's room within with awesome amenities such as their own TV, Playstation 3, soft toys, kids books, kids-focused mini-bar, and special kids in-room dining menu!
YAY chocolate truffles ^.^
They have rooms that is right by the pool so if you're visiting you should totally check those out!
Dinner at Hard Rock Cafe! =D Loveeee the platter! The anchovies sauce is so good omg! AND THE ROCKIN' WINGS ALSO DAMN GOOD. Please try it when you're there!
With Mich and Meredith who totally knock out.
Mac and Cheese =P HUNGRY! By the way the portion they serve is damn huge so if you're not a big eater please share!!!
More food that Hard Rock Cafe kindly prepared for us! Josh loves the Original Legendary Burger!!! If Josh loves it you have to try it hahaha.
Waking up to noms.
Thank you Hard Rock Cafe Penang!
At night we went for supper! Meredith gives five toes up lol.
More more more hawker / roadside food Carolyn brought us for!!! So awesome to have a local friend to bring us around if not we totally don't know where can find yummy food!
Went to Brown Pocket Cafe @ Paragon! They very nice insist on treating us desserts and yogurt and coffee T.T Penang people all so nice one ah haha!
Some of the nice people we met at Brown Pocket Cafe! Thank you guys for coming by to say hi to Meredith! =D
Ohr Jian (Fried Oyster cake) is my favourite of all. Although i don't eat the oyster haha. Omg this was so awesome, especially with the chili sauce!
Went to Macalister Mansion cox my sister raved about and swear by their truffle scrambled egg and also Yutaki raved about how chio the place was.

Turns out, truffle scrambled egg only available for breakfast so we didn't get to try it. And then the place was just.. Alright, not sooo nice until must go there just to camho. Lolol. But since we were already there, we decided to order their cakes and tea.

Tea was TWG so it's standard good. BUT THE CAKES TASTED SOOOOO HORRIBLE AND CHEAP (Cheap sponge cake, cheap cream, cheap chocolate, cheap jam in between, like worst than HDB cake shop cake lolol) that we couldn't take more than a small mouthful each.

Moral of the story, don't be too excited over hypes and raves hahaha. You usually end up disappointed. Just go everywhere and do everything with the thought that it'd be just.. Okay. LOL.

They do have a outdoor white themed garden outside the cafe!
Ganma place the doll there..
Doll notices camera..
And she smiles! =D
Went for street art after that.. Where Meredith totally knock out again lol. I think the humid weather make her sleepy.
This be how we roll lol.
Haha Mich so stupid she say "Let's take a picture, you look there, i look there" LOL.
BEST MEAL IN PENANG IS HERE~!!! Thank you Carolyn. Haha. I had one of the best carrot cakes i've had here. It's salty one, not like ours which is slightly sweet!
Makeup foundation!!! REAL ONE YOU KNOW. Add water to these foundation powder chips (shaped like chocolate chips lol) and you have your liquid to powder foundation LOL. But i think it will probably form a cast on your face. LOL.
White curry noodle, Ah Pong crispy crepes, dry Bak Kut Teh!!! And Lor Mee!
Went up Penang Hill for sightseeing and to check out David Brown cafe! Even though the hi-tea set was very very bad ((the fruits tier was like oranges, grapes (got seeds kind LOL), apples, you know all the cheaper range fruits, and then the savoury tier was badly done sandwiches with tiny bit of tuna / cheese inside, and then the bottom dessert tier had fruit cake that looks like it was sliced from fruit cake loaves you can find in convenient store, tasted quite bad) i would still suggest you guys to go up there, just for the cooling weather and the view! Be armed with mozzie repellent okay! Even with anti-mozzie patch we still got bitten so maybe go with spray even!!!
Although the food fell wayyyy below par, the view made up for everything.
Girls be girls.
Goodbye Penang hills!
Meredith while waiting in the car for Auntie Carolyn to go buy char kway teow haha.

Penang was a nice and short getaway. We need more short getaways. Simply cox reality is too stressful lol. So we need to run away to catch a breather..

But baby sleeps only at 2am every night in Penang fml. Now i don't know if i can handle her in Japan LOL. GBM. Hahaha.

No photography on the airplane runway tarmac? LOL #Rebels #Bad #Badgirlrere
Woah totally love our group wefie together =DDD EXCEPT WHERE THE HECK AM I =__=
Let's do it again! STILL not a sight of me.. =____=
Much better! Haha!

Flying off again this month end. Super looking forward!!! Till then~!!!

11 March 2016

I will Be better

It's always hard to admit..

That you've fallen.

That you're broken.

That you're no longer whole.

And i feel ashamed that even with a patient husband, a precious daughter, a supportive family, many genuine and close friends, i still fall to the hands of depression.


Sorry to everyone who love me.

I will be better. Please stay around to see me when i'm better.

And to anyone else who feel alone like you're in a dark room caged by the darkness and fear in your head, where you don't see sunlight.. Remember you are never alone.

Be strong for the ones who love you, be strong for yourself. I am telling myself as i tell you.

I might have fallen to depression this time.. But i will bounce back. I will be fine.

Thank you Joshua, Thank you Meredith, Thank You, to everyone of my family member.

Thank you to my friends.

Thank you to the readers who stick around even when i've been such a negative ball of mess for so long.

Thank you to even the people who pushed me to where i am today..

You have taught me a very valuable lesson, that is to learn how i cannot trust anyone who call themselves a friend. And for that i thank you again.

I am not a victim, i am a fucking warrior. I will take my medications and i will chill the heck out.

But there's no medication for a black heart that sees no compassion so i only wish the best for you all.

Wanted to do a cover of this song for my guest-singer appearance at Starker's @ Zhongshan Park on the 17th (I'd be there 8.30pm so see you if you're free to pop by, i'd be singing a few songs. Totally not pro so you've been warned haha).. But i can't get it done properly. But it's okay. I re-shoot a lot more times trying to do better and trying to chill but this first two takes were the best of all.

Cox even when i am weak, i wanna be strong.

I can't do any work now. I can't do anything now. I can only be with people who make me feel alive and loved and safe. I can't function as usual but it will all be over.

Hair makeover @ Number76 to look 5 years younger LOL.

Hello~ Just a quick one to show you how i turn 5 back time by 5 years lol.

Actually i love my previous hair colour but you know.. Always ready for a change lol.

Really i tell you, one of the things i do when i am stressed is to just change my hair colour or hairstyle. It makes me feel like a brand new person, a little, not fully, but a little at least haha.

* * * Number76 @ Orchard Gateway * * *
#02-23 Tel: 6385 6776
Book appointment online HERE

See, 其实真的是蛮美了.
Amy touching up my roots first =D
When you ask your friend to snap a picture of you and you were gonna do le-sexy-model face and he took the picture too soon and you look like you're in a trance. Lolol. Thank you Yutaki.
With Yutaki and Miya =DDD Sophie came later cox her hair appointment happen to be after me what the heck. Each one of us were heading town for different reason, end up all together. 是不是缘分! Although i only saw Sophie for less than 10 minutes lah haha. She didn't have makeup on yet so no picture of the Eurasian LOL.
With the pair of twinsies.
Sometimes my face look so incredibly small i feel like i 没有脸见人 wor =) Shy. HAHA.
BUT YEAH HOW DOES MY NEW HAIR LOOK!!! =DDD Thank you Amy!!! I feel soooo much fresher and look younger lol.

Here's a video i did of my hair makeover! For those who are thinking to try out Number76 services, you can check out the salon and the experience at Number76 on my vlog~ =D

* * * Number76 @ Orchard Gateway * * *
#02-23 Tel: 6385 6776
Book appointment online HERE

08 March 2016

❤︎ Happy 1 Year Old, Meredith Tan Zhi Ning ❤︎

Dear baby, since the day mummy knew we are blessed with you.. Even when you were still in my tummy, hidden away and underneath all the fats mummy put on during pregnancy.. Mummy has always been trying to be a better person for you, doing only things you will be proud of, trying my best to be courageous and brave in facing all the obstacles in life..

Sorry for sometimes, mummy is not strong enough..

Sorry for some days, i carry you to my face and just bury myself in your warmth to cry my heart out.. For you are mummy's source of strength when i can find none within myself..

You are mummy's everything.

And for you, mummy will do the right thing..

I am going to listen to your daddy and go seek treatment for depression..

I never wanna admit i might possibly be depressed cox i feel it's something to be ashamed of for myself cox i always pride myself to be super positive and cheerful.. But now it's like.. "Why are you so weak?" It's been too long. And i really wanna spend the time ahead with you and really be with you.. And not have my soul drifting somewhere dark and helpless..

People at work can do what they want to mummy.. But mummy will stand for the right thing and stand for myself.. So when you grow up, you know to do that for yourself too.

To stand up against the wrong. To stand for what you believe in, for what is right, that does not hurt others. And most importantly, to do all of the above, even if it's hard.

On your first birthday, mummy wish for you to grow healthy, happy, caring, kind and courageous.

Some day you will grow up, and you will form thoughts of your own about issues.. About people, about things, about life.. You will decide if you wanna wash your hair today.. Or not. You will decide who to fall in love with and i bet mummy and daddy will have no way to change your opinion on what you love judging by the way you refuse to give us the toy knife in exchange with the toy teacup haha.

Now you're surrounded by people who love you.. Becox they are also people who love mummy and daddy.. They are our family, our friends, our loved ones.. Be nice to them too. Take care of them. Help them if they ever need a hand becox they've helped mummy, daddy and you a lot, whether you know it or not. They have all helped and loved us in their own ways.

But as you grow.. You will meet people who will hurt your feelings.. People who don't think for your good.. That's okay becox not everyone is to love everyone, don't take it to heart. Be nice to them anyway..

And then you might also meet people who wanna do harm to you or your loved ones.. Stand up against those people. Don't let them go without teaching them a lesson. "The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing"

Do something good for the world, one good deed at a time, Meredith. Believe in yourself.. You are special.. You can make a change in the world.. Cox you already changed daddy and mummy's life.. By bringing so much joy and happiness to us.. Daddy and mummy are always, always proud of you..

Daddy and mummy love you.. Always =')))

This was you at 5 weeks old in mummy's tummy haha.
8 weeks..
10 weeks..
15 weeks..
4 months..
9 months.. Isn't it amazing..? ='))
Papa and mama waiting for your arrival..
When mama first held you.. You are a little creation of miracles.. Many many miracles.. For your eyes to be formed properly, for your heart to pump, for your brain to function.. For everything in you.. You are life's miracle.. Always feel that way and always remind others around you next time to feel good about themselves.. They are someone's baby too.. Like you are precious to mommy ='))
The first picture your yeye saw that made him so worried cox "why so ugly" LOLOLOLOLOL.
The first picture you posted on your instagram HAHA.
Daddy's little angel =))
Yup correct, diao your ganma like that all the time, do it for mummy hahaha.
You are very blessed with people who love you more than they love mummy hahaha. Si yi, Niao Yi, San Yi, Er Yi, ganma, yeye and more.. =) Grow up to be a good girl okay..
When you were so tiny..
But your attitude was so big LOL.
Niao yi's fingers and you..
Your laughter and your stares.. At 3am =_=
Mummy used to be able to carry you with one hand haha.. To give you a little bath near the window where the sunlight is.. Every morning, 7am.. =))) Now you always 赖床 until 11am =_="
Remember to always have fun with people haha but don't always allow them to put your mummy's maternity bra on you lolol. Especially not if you wanna buy 4D and toto.
Less than a month old and learning how to smile for a picture haha.
Daddy's little lost kitten!
"What are you talking about mom.. Your caption is so bad i can't even.."
Oh god hahahaha. Mummy used to think you're super cute even when you used to look like that LOL.
"What do you mean?" Nothing i mean you're super cuteeee~
"Okay i like what i hear now"
"But if i hear you joke about my looks again, i won't pull back my punches!"
Meredith, this is you at 1 year old..

You love to explore, you're almost fearless (except when mummy wanna walk away haha), you're very loud, you love to play with your soft toys (cox they are basically mummy LOL) and you love the indoor playground. You really love animals so daddy, mummy and godma brought you to the zoo for your birthday.. You had such a good time.. Mummy didn't bother to take much pictures becox mummy really wanna be with you.. And remember every squeak and squeal you let out when you see the animals that you've only seen from your books and flash cards before haha..

You also love yogurt and pumpkin. Fruits are your default favourite cox you don't know what's candies and chocolates yet but the adults are breaking mummy's defence against candies and chocolates soon.. They say it's about time haha. I'd just have to deal with that hahaha!

Can't believe it's been a year.. You are mummy's source of joy, motivation and direction..

Remember that daddy and mummy love you with all our hearts.. =') Thank you for being here and for being ours..

Be happy not just today, but everyday as much as you can.. Happy Birthday, Meredith.

Eat well, grow well, be well, think good thoughts, love your family, love your friends, be kind..
Sorry, mummy very naggy one haha.