27 May 2010

What do i want from my life?

Today i was ask this question and it really seemed like a small question and i answered whatever came to my mind. I want to be a hdb tai tai, who owns a small boutique selling pretty stuffs or a specialty shop that only sells Tiramisu. But i tried once, and it sucked so bad for me to even try again.

Anyway, then i went for another meeting and i was asked the same question. And i didn't even think and it just came out, "I want to be a tai tai".

Then when i was on my way home, i start to really think.

What do i want from my life. Why do i keep thinking i want to be a tai tai?

And i figured. I just want money.

And i know why i want money.

With money i can bring my parents overseas again this year end
With money i can shift to a bigger place
With money i can get ( . )( . )
With money i can ask my neighbour's maid to slap the kid who screams and shout and CRY DAMN LOUD EVERY BLOODY MORNING and EVENING, i can bribe her to slap him so bad that he will never ever dare cry and wake me up again. I will feed him chili padi and then make him drink Coke right after that and then give him a FREE set of wii so he will not tell his mother what i did.

Anyway, i hate to think too hard. Sometimes even after thinking, there's no concrete thoughts. I mean, thoughts are thought, where got concrete thoughts, right? Thoughts change.

And whatever i want from my life now, is to give my dad and dogs and everyone that i love, a better life. No lah, actually everyone else is doing great, i just want to make it better. Feels like it's my responsibility.

Oh man, i just really need to get this out of my chest, it's like a big question that i was asked twice in a day. That i tried to figure out for 22 years and still figuring.

What do you want from your life?

I want to live it through healthily. That's a confirm concrete thought.


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